Krauser has a great overview of the history of game. Game actually goes back farther, the original PUA being Eric Weber and his mail-order book, “How to Pick Up Girls”. Back in those days, a few other books of this type were available in the same way, sold through ads magazines oriented towards men. R. Don Steele got into this, then his arch-nemesis Ross Jeffries, and then many more largely inspired by Ross Jeffries.
There is an endless appetite for this kind of stuff. I spent some early years of my adulthood trying to succeed as a salesman. I was a terrible salesman with no talent or potential for it, as are the majority of people who go into sales. Nevertheless there were (and are) thousands of writers and speakers promising to let you in on the secrets of success as a salesman.
For absolutely nothing, I’ll let you in on the secret of being a super-successful salesman. Have a charismatic, alpha personality. To be an average salesman, have a moderately friendly/likeable personality, and work the numbers like a dog. I knew one guy, a totally bland, introverted accountant, who succeeded in commercial real estate by just grinding out the cold calls. I have more respect for that guy than anybody else I knew in sales, because he just sucked it up and did it, something people love to talk about- it’s even the Nike slogan- but few do.
My problem was my bad history with people made this too terrifying, and occasionally I would get somebody nasty and it would really throw me off. But still, I wish I had been stronger inside.
I think the typical modestly successful PUA falls into the second category. He is a normal, average guy who is OK to look at, OK to talk to, and he goes out and talks to lots and lots of women. With enough numbers, he gets laid occasionally. A lot of what is called game technique is depersonalizing the interaction- not treating the “prospect” and important or valuable in herself, and not regarding a negative outcome as a verdict on you personally. Salesmen have to do this- they spend all day talking to people, many of whom are having a bad day, or looking for somebody they don’t have to be nice to to dump on, and the salesman is a convenient target. Or even when people are nice, hearing “no” all day is pretty draining.
On the other hand, if you are looking for a personal intimate relationship this is probably not healthy. You have your armor on, but when do you take it off?
Sales training has been around for a long time, and there are different schools and philosophies. Occasionally a guy comes out with a new book claiming some new innovation. I originally encountered neuro-linguistic programming in sales training in the early 90’s- it started out as a uman potential thing, or a new technique for therapists, but quickly got picked up by sales trainers and then Ross Jeffries. As Krauser points out, this formal breakdown of interaction has been put aside for other things, I suspect mainly because it is so unnatural for most people, he calls it “aspy” game.
The one big limiting factor is how much rejection you can take. If you are a salesman or PUA and can take an unlimited amount of rejection, you will have some success, if only on a numbers basis. The correct answer is that you shouldn’t be a pussy and you should make as many calls/approaches as is necessary to make a sale or get the notch. The truth is everybody has a limit. Succeeding as a PUA requires making hundreds or thousands of approaches. Frankly, if you can do this you don’t really need any technique at all. If you approach enough women, some will be willing to fuck you, and when you have fucked a certain number of women, you automatically become more attractive to women and more will fuck you. Many women want a guy with a lot of sexual experience, and they can tell how much you have.
It has been noted various places that many PUA blogs, and many manosphere blogs, are disappearing. The thing about a blog is at some point you may run out of things to say. If you are not eager to be publicly identified, as most guys writing this stuff aren’t, you may be exposed, or come close to being exposed, and decide to back away. The hardcore audience for this stuff is fairly limited. Most guys don’t worry too much about it, and those who do will always be moving on the next big thing. Here is a fairly vicious attack on all things (or most things) PUA, which reflects most of the negative attitudes toward it. I’m not familiar with the rivalries involved, which probably isn’t important, since there have been various vicious rivalries from the beginning. I have made my own critique of various “gurus”. Like anything else, take what is helpful and useful, and leave the rest.
I have been busy with other things, and not on writing about my life and the ideas it gives me. To some extent I have said what I want to say. Another frustrating thing is that without Bardimu, it is hard to get people to come here. Bardimu was the Matt Drudge of the politically incorrect, and provided people who wanted to read about things from a different angle, and it hurt a lot of bloggers to lose that source of readers. But he didn’t want to risk exposure, a basic reason to stop blogging, and I suspect the end of his Sunday links page caused a lot of other people to hang it up.
I recently started a new job, so I’m more interested in work issues right now. I’m technically very proficient, but still worried about interacting with management, other employees and customers. I first would like to do some more specific comments on the things Krauser talked about, and I think I will make that my next post.
I want to continue this because no one addressed the practical realities in life of a low-status male. Everyone wants to be high-status, or put on a show of being high-status, but the idea of acknowledging and coping with low status is taboo. But I prefer reality be addressed.