Creepiness and Social Proof

I have mentioned I belong to a church group that consists of younger couples. The guys seem to be OK with me but I don’t think any of the women like me. They are polite, but that’s it.

My feeling about this is that women are suspicious of any unattached man. What women call “creepiness” just means “unattached” or “without female social proof”. There is no point getting upset about this. These are socially conservative, traditional women; sexually permissive women are going to have pretty much the same reaction. Society just doesn’t like single men, any society.

Funny thing is, I recently had reasonably good-looking young woman be very friendly and animated with me. I was sitting in Starbucks, and this woman is playing with her smart phone. I want to practice my social skills, so I ask her “Is that an iPhone?” and she says yes. I say something like “my girlfriend loves those”. (she is actually obsessed with Apple and is getting one even though it is really too expensive for her.) She goes on at some length talking about how wonderful her iPhone is, with little prompting from me. I was actually hoping she would shut up after a while.

1) she was eager to talk about her gadget 2) I was only mildly interested and had no agenda and 3) I mentioned my girlfriend, indicating that I was not a creep, but actually had female companionship. Of these three I think #3 was almost half of the equation. #2 was second, not discounting #1. If you want to start off-the-cuff conversations with women, try saying something about your girlfriend, with only casual interest.

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9 Responses to Creepiness and Social Proof

  1. Sheila Tone says:

    This is even smellier BS than the foreign girlfriend. You’re clearly an isolationist and borderline xenophobe, and you’re even more clearly an atheist.

    Now if you blogged about experiences with atheist women, that would be realistic and interesting. Why just make up stuff that regurgitates manosphere memes? You’re better than that.

    • I know I should be like Roissy and laugh a carefree laugh at your doubt of my versimilitude, but being an omega I feel defensive and the need to prove myself. But I can’t. Truth is stranger than fiction, Sheila. You’re an attorney so you probably hear crazier things every day.

  2. I agree with the experience of the author. I have had this happen to me many a time – not that i give two shits. Women cannot think for themselves to workout which men are attractive: they need other men to decide this for them.

  3. […] a look at this article. I suspect this is a common enough experience for most men; being thought of as a creep just because […]

  4. Nas says:

    “My feeling about this is that women are suspicious of any unattached man.”

    – Women only like men for their utility and those they can manipulate. You are seen as a threat because how you might influence younger men; their men. You can show them that there is another life besides being married and working yourself to death for a fat, ugly, ungrateful wife.

  5. jlw says:

    OmegaMan:

    Greetings! Fellow omega here. I recently posted the following over at Manboobz and caused quite a little stir:

    “Five years ago, I quit.

    Back in the day, I used to think my problems on the romantic front could be solved for good. I had no financial woes, debt problems, criminal record,
    alien abduction stories, horrible family problems, religious hang-ups, or health worries. I had many friends and a close family. I like snow-shoeing, running, soccer, reading, cooking, hiking, writing, my two big huskies Frosty and Snowball, and lots of other pursuits. I even learned how to dress well without pegging the gay-o-meter.

    But I had apparently had some insurmountable strikes against me. I don’t want children and didn’t have any—especially as a step-father
    for some long-gone bad boy. Also, I’m short. I’m unattractive. Sadly, by any objective standard, I’m ugly.

    WHAT I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR WAS THE FOLLOWING:

    “Yes, you are – FROM ANY OBJECTIVE STANDPOINT – VERY unattractive and short and there is nothing you can do about it. Yes, refusing to father children, or to be a step-father, is a handicap and limits the number of potential mates even further. The chances of you finding someone that (1) will accept these facts about you and still want to be with you and (2) to which you are also attracted to, is ZERO. You will never pair off with someone and you will live your entire life alone. This is inevitable and you should prepare yourself for it.”

    Why didn’t anybody ever say this? One is profit motive. There is very little money in writing self-help books that say the reader is screwed. Two is this creeping politeness that compels people to lie
    instead of telling the frank truth.

    Check out the scrum, starting at post 17, at http://manboobz.com/2010/12/21/love-shyness-and-the-perpetual-resentment-machine/

    Yours is the only site on the entire internet that discusses the life and times of an irrecoverable omega. Please keep it up.

    • I think your evaluation of things is quite correct. Anyone can enjoy life as long as they accept its realistic limitations.

    • Sheila Tone says:

      I’ve tried saying stuff like that to men, but even when they said it *themselves* and just asked me if it was true, they were furious to hear it from me. People pretend they want honestly, but most of them don’t, not if it’s bad news.

  6. jlw says:

    Just because other people don’t want the truth doesn’t mean I want to be lied to.

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