“Commitment” and Self-Image

One of the basic “game” books you’re supposed to read is “Influence” by Robert Cialdini. It comes in different editions, one aimed at general readers, one at psychology students and one at business. I think they are all pretty close so it probably doesn’t matter which one you get. I got the one the library had available.

One thing struck a nerve with me- actually upset me. Cialdini gets to talking about “commitment” as a way of changing the subject’s thinking. He uses American POWs in the hands of the Chinese during the Korean war. Unlike the North Koreans they didn’t abuse prisoners, but tried to persuade them none the less. One thing they would do is try to get the prisoners to write out statements supporting the communists, even fairly innocuous ones like “America is not perfect” or “Unemployment is not a problem in China.”

What happened was the prisoners began to think of themselves as more friendly to the communists, just by having made in their own handwriting these statements. The papers could then be shown to other prisoners, who would think of the writers as collaborating. This induced another affect, which was that when other prisoners began to think of them as collaborators, they began to think of themselves as collaorators as well.

I had been reading “Bang” by Roosh as well, going over the part where he talks about doing a lot of approaches. I had been meaning to talk to the woman at the cupcake shop, but when I had the chance I just couldn’t.

Family and peer abuse then has a strong effect on the psyche. You must at some time submit to or cooperate with your abusers if you are around them daily for months or years. This then makes you think it is normal, and you deserve it. You are thrust into the social role of a weak, abused person which makes other people think it is normal and you deserve it.

Attached to this somehow is I had some bad memories come up. I have a lot of bad memories but these particular ones hadn’t returned to me in a long time. They have to do with people acting friendly, as a set up for something else.

There are two kinds of abuse. One is simple lashing out on the part of the abuser. He hits somebody, or shouts at somebody, or insults somebody in a fit of anger, which subsides as quickly as it arose. We are encouraged to see all abuse like this. And abusers will always try to classify their abuse like this, if called on it. He didn’t mean it, it’s not a big deal, forgive him.

Some abuse is like that. Much is deliberately intended to control the victim and have long-term effects. As with the brainwashing, when you have physical control over a person, you can mess with their mind quite a bit.

I had family problems and peer problems. Roosh says basically you need to “extinguish” your responses, to use a term from operant conditioning. I know this works in a lot of situations; you confront an anxiety-provoking situation and the anxiety is greatly reduced. But I still think there are situations for which it doesn’t work, and I can’t figure out what to do for that. I fundamentally don’t trust anyone which makes it real difficult to deal with people in unstructured situations.

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7 Responses to “Commitment” and Self-Image

  1. Johnny says:

    I think you had a post where you talked about serving in the military in your younger days? If I remembered that correctly, and you did serve, could you post your thoughts on your military service and “alphaness.” I would think anybody who is a veteran has that going for them or am I mixing things up?

  2. […] Omega Man – ““Commitment” and Self-Image” […]

  3. Candice says:

    I’m also a domestic abuse survivor – twice in fact – I still cannot get around the lack of confidence. I also got into the second abuse situation because I was so accustomed to abuse and also was so easily intimidated and did not have the skills to detect and deal with abuse. I dealt with the second situation by enhancing my own power/independence, learning about what constituted abuse, learning self defence and finally faced down my abuser. Actually, if I had been assertive from the start and stopped him at the first use of coercion to control me, he would have never escalated. I would be happy to communicate with you to provide information about my experience. 🙂

  4. Heismanist says:

    The philosphy expounded here is basically at the heart of John Norman’s Gor series, banned by our feminist society in the 1980s because of its politically incorrect message that women are naturally submissive and men are naturally dominant. Ironically its only when you read Gor books that you recognise how wrong the argument is.

    Norman’s central argument fails to understand the complexity of human behaviour. The role of mothers is ignored for example. I would contend that the central reason women aren’t dominated slaves in our society is that mothers teach boys to grow up with a set of morals forbidding the complete domination of women. We (men) effectively grow up programmed like Asimov’s robots are programmed with the three laws. All but a few on the periphery of society treat women with respect.

    Also hunter gatherer bands relied on collectivism in a way that our modern capitalist societies don’t. They were not the cut throat ‘Klingon’ type societies they are made out to be; and neither are societies in primate communities for that matter. Consequently dominant males in such socieities were more likely to be the wisest or the most popular rather than the one who killed all the competitors; and these characteristics women often say are desirable.

  5. Candice says:

    “Family and peer abuse then has a strong effect on the psyche. You must at some time submit to or cooperate with your abusers if you are around them daily for months or years. This then makes you think it is normal, and you deserve it. You are thrust into the social role of a weak, abused person which makes other people think it is normal and you deserve it.” Very well put! That was me! …and just in case anyone tries to blame “teh menz” – it was a female parent …..

    “Consequently dominant males in such socieities were more likely to be the wisest or the most popular rather than the one who killed all the competitors; and these characteristics women often say are desirable.” …oh yes I vote for the most wisest! Speaking of wisdom, you guys seem to have a lot of it! Perhaps you are only skin deep Omegas? Anyway, is it OK if I hang around here a bit and listen to what you say?

    🙂 C

    • Mahoney (the keyboard warrior) says:

      By all means stay. But what I urge you to do is go into the archives and start reading this blog from the very beginning. The author has had a most interesting life, its hilariously tragic. I love this site because this man has experienced some of the things which are my worst fears and has the sense of good will to share it. Not all men can afford to pull the bullshit pea-cocking, posturing bullshit, in order to truly document the plight of omega males one must stick their hands in shit. Trust me, go the very beginning of this blog and read it all!

  6. Candice says:

    Thank you for making me feel welcome! 🙂 I think the pea-cocking etc is all a bit silly, but then maybe we are talking popular pick up bar culture among the more superficial? I have started at the start, but being who I am, its difficult for me to read things in sequence, even books! 🙂 C

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