Social Sorting And Matching By Women

Scott Adams speculate about why people love video games and thinks that one of the things women instinctively do is screen men for defects that would make them unsuitable as mates. He says women like Tetris, a video game I know, and mahjong, a game with tiles I know only from its mention in Mad magazine.

I think women do sort men for reproductive fitness. Women who are older and not looking to have kids are willing to accept a man who is not the alpha male of game legend; I think this accounts for essentially all my relationships. But I think there is something deeper going on here.

I think these games are more about patterns than defects; women are more sensitive to lack of harmony or disorganization than men. They like sorting and arranging things, but they like sorting and arranging people more.

This affects social relations a great deal; men are focused on a goal, and organize themselves to meet that goal. Only as much harmony and organization as are necessary for the group to function are required. Women on the other hand must have a high degree of harmony and organization first; the task is almost secondary.

MRAs complain any organization that contains women will eventually become female-oriented, and I think this is true. The military, or the combat part anyway, is almost all male, and teaches a very goal-oriented, and very effective method, of getting things done. (The few females who were around that I encountered created a great deal of chaos.) When I went into the civilian world, with about a 50/50 mix, these methods seemed to be completely rejected by everyone; not only were they not accepted, they actually seemed offended by it.

I’m not talking about screaming at people, I’m talking about “OK this is what we need to do; you do this, you do this, and you do this. Any questions?” In the civilian world, the rule seemed to be you are friends with your employees, and because they like you and you are their friend they do their jobs. The idea that they are being paid and thus should do their jobs whether they like them or not or whether they like you or not seemed to be regarded as unbearably fascist.

With enough women in the environment, harmony seems to take first place. The way a woman sees it, everyone she has social contact must fit together somehow; on the other hand people she doesn’t have social contact with, and who are below her, don’t exist.

The bsocially unskilled male approach to relationships is goal-oriented. I’m attracted to this woman; I should persuade her I’m a good guy, and she should have a relationship with me. What a nerd thinks a woman would like is entirely different from what a woman actually likes, but that’s another subject.

The Mystery Method talks about establishing attraction, then comfort. I think my mistake- and the typical omega mistake- is to try to establish comfort first. This is called “being polite”, or “being nice”, and it is something my mother had me do on pain of death.

The reason this doesn’t work is that as far as a woman is concerned, a man of lower status than her, with whom she does not have a defined relationship, simply does not exist. She is dimly aware of lower status women, because she must rank herself against other women; but this doesn’t apply to men.

That doesn’t mean such men won’t approach her, especially if her appearance is average or above. I’m thinking of the 50-year-old virgin, who related a story of making a comment to a woman in an appliance store, and who was aggressively rude to him. This is the infamous “Bitch Shield”. His blog is gone, but what she said was more of less, “Do you work here? No? Then why are you talking to me?”

Let me make an aside here- and say that what we think of as female virtues are actually male virtues, and projected to women as part of the female supremacy project started in the Victorian era. We are taught that women are polite; but politeness is actually a way that lower and higher status men relate, or men who don’t know each other relate.

What was happening here was that 50YOV, not having immediately established himself as a high status man, had to be categorized by the woman into one of two categories- a store employee, who would be low status but possibly useful, or any other low status man, who should not approach her, speak to her or even look at her.

I don’t think a lot of men understand this, because men don’t have a category of social non-existence. All men are at least dimly aware that every person serves some kind of purpose, and fills some role in the greater scheme of things.

The process of establishing a relationship with a woman is largely a matter of evading disqualification, or “Fuckup Avoidance Game” as Roissy calls it. That’s why attraction comes first; if the woman is not motivated to talk to you, you enter the category of social non-existence. Low status men are in the habit of being polite, because as a low status person you must signal that you are cooperative and not going to rock the boat; but as a consequence of this, women regard politeness a sign of low status and grounds for immediate dismissal. Even betas figure this out at an early age; it confused and upset me as an adolescent that girls giggled and got excited at what appeared to me to be rude, goofy behavior from guys, but that’s just how the game is played.

Still, something called “comfort” has to come after attraction has been established, but this isn’t being nice or polite either. After a woman has decided you are a man she should relate to socially- that is, a man of higher status than her- she must fit you into her network of social relations. She has to determine he isn’t a physical or social threat to her, that he will not cause her embarrassment or trouble, and he is a potential boyfriend of some sort.

And this is a sorting game. For the woman to have fun with it, it should be challenging but not frustrating. With  a beta the game is easy, because she knows he will behave appropriately to her mom, her friends, and whoever else she may need to display him to.

With an alpha, it’s harder but a lot more exciting and fun. Alphas are rare creatures- in any given social environment there can only be one real, actual alpha, as opposed to someone who displays alpha characteristics, which is what we’re talking about 99% of the time when we use the term- and bringing one into a new social environment is sure to stir things up. Will he try to fuck her friends? Will her try to fuck her mom? Will dismiss her father’s or her brother’s opinions on football? He might be a dick and make her look bad, or he might be exciting and charming and raise her social status significantly with her family and friends  by proxy. This is the ideal outcome.

Women actually love ambiguity, because it adds to the excitement. This is why you want to be vague about the future of the relationship as much as you can.

The fundamental rule as always is that women are different from men and like and respond to different things.

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17 Responses to Social Sorting And Matching By Women

  1. javert says:

    I’m a fellow omega that has recently woken up to the reality of his status and pretends to go to the only direction possible: upward. I got here through Roissy and have some questions:

    I’m still upset to the idea of consciously reading a blog that openly claims its direction to the omegas. Isn’t this a self-boycotting move to gain inner game? The title essentially assumes that nothing will get us from the hole we are stuck in but, as true as it may is, we have to do our best to ignore it, even if that implies irrational thought and doublethinking.

    Second, I’m still navigating through the posts but it seems that many of you, while having interesting challenging points and nice and unexpected points of view, end digressing too much, get lost in the middle and end talking about generic game and the insistence about how omega we are. For example, the current post starts talking about videogames, it hints at them as massive DLVs by women (first theme deserving an entire point on itself), then goes on the obsessing sorting out performed by women (second interesting theme on itself) and how it impact jobs they have recently invaded (third promising theme) and all of a sudden it revolts to the widely known attraction and confort phases of game and some dispensed advise that, honestly speaking, neither you nor I are in good position to speak about.

    Hope you don’t take this at a troll attempt. I’m interested in deepening on a internet niche of guys that recognize the current omega status we have and ways to survive to it. If you have any recommended links free of internet spam, I’ll be glad. Will continue to explore through your blog. Hope for the best.

    • I started writing this because there was a lot of stuff out there on game, but little that addressed the problems of guys with little or no experience with women and/or serious problems. On top of that a lot of “self-help” stuff is worthless, and some is actually dangerous. I was partly inspired by the case of George Sodini. I actually learned a lot from Steele, the guy whose seminars he went to. Sodini had some tools to work with, but I think he was undone by the gap between what he was and what other people expected him to be.

      My mind tends to run off on tangents, and most of these posts are my random musings. I have the intention of writing it all out in an organized fashion, but I would have to be a lot more focused.

  2. Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

    Omega Man, have you ever had a platonic female freind? If so, how close were you?

    • I have never had a female platonic friend, but then I hardly have any friends. I think having a female friend would actually be a big help, as long as you understand she’s a friend and not somebody you can fuck.

      • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

        I don’t see having a female platonic friend as a positive necessarily, but I figure if a dude cannot even get that because he is so repulsive to women…Not saying that this is the case with you, since you continue to form intimate relationships with them, but it certainly is the case with me. After being served the insider scoop about women I would find it very difficult to be friends with any woman, knowing what I know, without the benefits of sex. I can’t imagine ever enjoying any woman’s company without at least some physical contact going on, but some severe low status, socially retarded, pseudo aspie, life long omega males I think it could help break down some barriers.

  3. Commander Shepard says:

    You have a great blog and your writing is very insightful. The real gem in your latest piece is this;

    “Still, something called “comfort” has to come after attraction has been established, but this isn’t being nice or polite either. After a woman has decided you are a man she should relate to socially- that is, a man of higher status than her- she must fit you into her network of social relations. She has to determine he isn’t a physical or social threat to her, that he will not cause her embarrassment or trouble, and he is a potential boyfriend of some sort.” – OmegaMan

    I can relate to this personally. A hot SWPL investment banker chick is fucking a drug dealer alpha I know. They both make great efforts to conceal their “relationship” but being in their presence long enough it’s easy to pick up on the signs. The reputation hit she would take from publicly acknowledging being with this guy would be massive. She’ll probably settle with a beta provider when she’s done “having her fun”.

    • Jeff says:

      Do you know both of their names? Why don’t you out the “relationship” for them and give her the embarrassment she deserves?

  4. […] Omega Man – “Social Sorting and Matching by Women” […]

  5. no-way says:

    women chose men who are pop-culturally correct, not fittest. evidence? look around you.

  6. socialkenny says:

    I never ponderd this concept:women rating and arranging men.However true,but I never checced it out.

  7. AlekNovy says:

    So much theory and still 50% of women in your social circle will say yea no matter how you ask them out… I’ve always challenged guys who claim they can’t get women to SPELL out in numbers how many they asked out or made a move on, they always trip up. Heck even on the street you’ll get a yes some 1 out of 5 times by simply going direct – which no game can beat. And all it takes to get there is become confident with doing it. And all it takes to get confidence is to do it enough times. At first ull get reject 95% of the time, but if you just keep doing it, you will adopt the right attributed. No need to analyze game theory-it’s mental masturbation to avoid leaving the house.

    As regards the workplace and employees. I’ve tried many ways of running my businesses. The fascistic style was far from the most productive one (and all my employees are male). The “we’re in this together to make life better for all of us” approach seems to produce the most productivity for my businesses, not bossing people around. Again, jus the experience of me and the other people I know with businesses.

  8. Candice says:

    I adore politeness and men that are smart, gentle and helpful. The sort of quiet men that get on with their work and just fix things. I can spot bad boys a mile off and stay clear. I’ve got mostly male friends, including a couple bordering on Aspergers. Not all girls are the same ….

    • David says:

      Candice yes, you have them as “friends”…. not lovers. They are not the same kinds of men you would be sexually interested in.

      • Candice says:

        Hello David – sorry just saw your comment!

        I usually have some attraction to my platonic male friends and tell them so – they deserve to know they are attractive and desirable men.

        I don’t see being friends as something substandard – friends last longer than spouses! As I don’t have family and children and am not particularly comfortable with women, I value my male friends greatly and look after them – baked goods, advice, hospital visits, hugs when sad and so on.

        Mostly the reasons I am not married to my male friends is timing – I met Awesome first – or they are missing some compatibility aspect (maybe they are too outgoing or tend to have lots of girlfiends) or perhaps they don’t find me attractive!

        I can’t speak for all women – just me!

        🙂 Candice

      • Candice says:

        Oh and I got hijacked by the friends theme – the great love of my life is exactly as I described. He’s also very loyal and loving. The trick is to not just aim to be nice and give in on everything, but to be the best possible person you can be and aim to be self respecting, wise, functional and happy. You can’t cover up serious issues such as being a poor manager of money by being “nice”. it’s also possible to learn sufficient people skills to have a nice girlfriend – I can think of at least two of my friends who have done so 🙂 C

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