Sheila objected in a recent comment when I brought up NAWALT- “not all women are like that”- bringing up this objection usually implies that yes, all women are like that.

All women are like that. And all men are like that. But let me address these individually.

By “all women are like that” it is meant all women are predisposed to respond positively to alpha behavior, even if it is directed negatively at them. I believe this is the case, as a simple matter of biological programming. I’ll use an extreme, anecdotal example- it will be objected that the evidence is anecdotal, and that not all women are like that– but enough anecdotal evidence stops being anecdotal, and becomes a deep pool of data.

My sister is a 50 year old virgin, a strict Catholic and the very definition of a “nice girl”- she’s so nice she’s never fucked anybody. Once she mentioned a guy in her organization- some kind of a department head she deals only tangentially with on occasion- that he was an arrogant jerk, and yet she was “involuntarily attracted.” She used the term like it was something that women experience on an infrequent but ongoing basis. So if she feels it, women in general feel it. Women respond to dominant behavior, and whether it’s antisocial or negative towards them doesn’t seem to matter much.

The degree to which this is true varies a great deal, depending on the psychological situation of the woman, but it is always there. If your ethics prohibit you from antisocial behavior, dominant behavior doesn’t have to be antisocial. Somebody once said for nature to be commanded, it must first be obeyed. Accepting this as a characteristic of women is necessary. If you want to have a relationship with a woman you are going to have to show a certain amount of alpha traits.

Men are a more complicated case. Womens’ complaints about men will either be that they are too macho, or too wimpy. Well, what the hell do they want? Which one? As Athol Kay explains, an ongoing relationship with a woman requires a balance of both. The perfect man, like the perfect woman is very hard to find. Men by genetics and socialization will usually fall on one side or another.

I think the first step for women in dealing with this is being honest with themselves. Sandra Tsing Loh and her “kitchen bitch” husband aside, women will rarely complain about an excessively beta man. They will criticize other behavior, to make it look like they are complaining about alpha behavior, which while desirable is not supposed to be desired by middle class women.

If a man is showing excessive alpha traits- not being caring, romantic, whatever- he may just not care, or he may feel he doesn’t need to do these things, or he may feel doing them makes him look weak. I guess the correct answer is if you want somebody to do something, ask them, and if the relationship depends on it, say so. I don’t know if that works in real life. Real players know to give women enough romantic gestures to keep them from going crazy and leaving, but to keep them wanting more. A woman with a guy like this will have real difficulty.

If the guy shows a lack of assertiveness and backbone, he is probably a combination of genetically non-aggressive and socialization for non-aggressiveness. A woman with a guy like this can probably just tell him to be more assertive and he’ll do it. “Testing” him- trying to provoke him to be assertive with bad behavior- is a recipe for disaster, but that seems to be what a lot of women do.

6 Responses to NAWALT and NAMALT

  1. Omega Man's hot sister (who kind of looks like him) with the two cute kids says:

    Back up your assertions with some real examples, instead of trying to drag me down with you. Oh that’s right — you can’t! This exists only on the Internet. No 50-year-old female virgin is going to talk to her brother about being “involuntarily attracted” to anyone.

    When I talked to you about being involuntarily attracted to my lecherous boss, the point was that he made a show of sexual interest, and I was hoping that might be the kick in the pants you needed to do the same with someone in real life.

  2. *groan* I don’t know why I don’t stop trying to convince Sheila this is not all a put-on, but I can’t help myself. Sheila (your style betrays you) if I was going to create an elaborate put-on don’t you think it would be something a bit less grim and appalling than this, my actual life? My sister is not hot and does not have any kids. She tells me stuff a woman might not typically share with her brother, including guys she has crushes on. She says she wouldn’t tell her friends because they would make fun of her.

    As I said in my review of “The Shining”, in Stephen King novels the real horror is in real life, not the supernatural. Maybe this is why he is so popular, because shows frightening and disturbing aspects of life that are normally carefully ignored.

    • Sheila Tone says:

      What? You have a hot sister with two cute kids? You devious bastard. I hope she kicks your ass and tells your mom.

      Don’t worry, I believe all the sex stuff, at least the lame part. What ever happened to your fleshlight post? I wanted to link to it, but it disappeared.

      Most women’s complaints about men I hear are that they are dishonest, and/or inconsiderate. Surprisingly little gets discussed about either macho or wimpy. Except by guys on the Internet. And TV shows written by guys.

  3. Here’s the Fleshlight post-

    So you believe the negative things about me, but not the positive things. I think this ties in with the dishonest and/or inconsiderate; presenting yourself to women involves concealing anything negative about yourself and playing up the positive. Women are very sensitive to any negative information about a man and usually will not tolerate any negative characteristic. Unless like Roosh you can do the Jedi mind trick, “We’re going to have sex in my parents’ basement now, but you don’t mind because I’m so cool” but that’s a small number of guys.

    And if you have to conceal certain significant aspects from a person to gain acceptance from her, why would you feel the need to be considerate? Kindness and empathy are supposed to be reciprocal.

  4. Sheila Tone says:

    Who said I don’t believe the positive? I just don’t believe the fantastic, like that you travel to Columbia.

    Like the fact that you’re adventurous enough to try new products such as the Fleshlight, I believe that positive information.

    You don’t really talk yourself up much, though.

  5. […] Man – “NAWALT and NAMALT“, ““State” – A Critical, if Not THE Critical Component of […]

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