Roosh compares the merits of cold approaching versus getting to know women socially-
Advice on getting women skews heavily to what gamers call social circle game. Don’t go after women in bars, people say; it’s hopeless. Join a club, go to friend’s party, go to church, and meet a nice girl, not some alcoholic skank with herpes.
Superficially this sounds right. Women in bars are often pretty cold and hostile. Women at other places should be more socially matched with you and more open due to some social proof. And yet I think Roosh is a lot more right than wrong.
He explains it mainly in terms of numbers; but there are other aspects in my experience, which might not apply to him. One is social circle game is very hard for introverts. Getting involved with a group and then making a lot of friends is really hard. And it’s tedious and boring if you really don’t want to be involved in the activity for it’s own sake. (Grerp had a scathing, and realistic appraisal of church groups for women.) Another is that if meeting women is even part of your agenda of being at the group women are likely to be really offended if you approach them and they aren’t interested. This is stupid because these are the exact type of women who would tell a nerdy guy he should join a club to meet women. Getting blown off by a homely woman you wouldn’t look twice at in any other circumstance is a worse blow to the ego than getting blown off by a cute woman in a bar. And you will probably never see the woman again, and if you do you’ll just ignore each other, while with a woman in your social circle you may be embarrassed in front of people you don’t want to be embarrassed in front of, and word will get around.
If you can overcome the anxiety of cold approaching women- I admit I haven’t, and don’t know if I ever will- you can approach the women you want and avoid a great deal of footsie and other bullshit. Anxiety is a strange thing. It’s a horrible, dreadful feeling, but confronted and experienced it goes away pretty easily. And as Winston Churchill said, there is nothing quite like the exhilaration of being shot at with no effect.
On the other hand, being shot at with effect really sucks, which is why I don’t cold approach. Someday I’ll take my own advice.