Client Control And Women

Lawyers have something they call “client control”, and I have heard the term used by real estate agents as well. By this they mean the client follows the course of action they recommend. Lawyers often deal with emotional people who don’t understand what the attorney can and cannot realistically do for them. In some situations this is easy- they just tell the person they can’t do anything, that they have no case. Other times I suppose it is a lot harder- the client may want his lawyer to file a suit immediately, when a sternly worded letter is the best course of action. Or send a sternly worded letter, when a polite letter is better. In any case, the relationship is a success from the attorney’s standpoint if the client remains calm, takes his advice, accepts the outcome, is grateful for the attorney’s work, and pays his bill promptly.

I find this need for control very much present in relationships. The ideal alpha male we are all supposed to strive to be controls the emotions of the woman he is involved with- he doesn’t let her negative emotions spiral out of control and hurt him or hurt the relationship.

This is particularly difficult as the modern woman seems to have no ability or desire to control her emotions. Women universally believe- because they read it in Cosmo or some self-help book- that they need to express all their emotions, particularly to men they are involved with. Just sort of dump everything out there, but especially negative emotions like anger, dissatisfaction and disappointment.

This was what doomed my relationship with my first foreign girlfriend. She had a fairly aggressive personality, and was inclined to word ambushing or word dumping. My Spanish ability was more limited then, so in conversation I would be totally overwhelmed; I couldn’t understand her words, which put me on the back foot to begin with with dealing with her emotions. And she was a pretty angry person, and unfortunately inclined to take it out on me. The poor doofus omega boyfriend tends to be the one safe person to dump on.

A successful relationship then depends on the man’s ability to control his own emotions, because he must be able to control the woman’s emotions. My current foreign girlfriend is more educated, higher class, and not fundamentally angry like the previous one was. But she still unleashes her anger, disappointment and dissatisfaction with me on occasion, and I get tired of trying to reassure her, even though I’m sometimes successful at it. The only thing I can think of is these episodes must be clipped in the bud, harshly if need be. No alpha has to put up with his girlfriend bitching extensively.

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5 Responses to Client Control And Women

  1. Bob Smith says:

    A woman’s emotions cannot be controlled. To try is futile. Her actions can, but only to a limited degree given the legal realities we labor under, be controlled. And your emotional and physical response to her emotions and actions can, of course, be controlled.

    I we can really do, realistically, is ask the woman to control herself, and if she will not remove ourselves from her presence. Under some definitions of domestic violence such a demand would be “an attempt to control her” and therefore a crime, so be careful.

    It is not clear to me, however, how that can improve (rather than end) your relationship. She is likely to see you as abandoning her, no matter how rational that is, and I do not see any woman tolerating your disinterest in her emotional storms unless you’re really good looking or rich. If she thinks she can do better, and if you’re under average height or not so attractive or not so rich she will always think she can do better, she will most likely dump you for your attempt at aloof game.

  2. Sheila Tone says:

    Oh, I can’t wait to read something you’ve written in Spanish. Impress me, Don Juan. You seem more like the type who’d take German or Latin.

  3. Sheila Tone says:

    It’s an awful comparison — lawyer-client, with a romantic relationship.

    As a lawyer, client control comes into play most often when I advise someone to settle their case, because they will not do better at trial with the judge. I am a professional providing a service to a person with a problem. It is not a personal relationship, and I sometimes have to remind them of that. Some of them are always looking to push boundaries.

    Whereas a romantic relationship is supposed to be about people on equal footing for mutual benefit. You *are* the judge, but so is she. If either of you are unhappy, you lose. You’ve described your relationships with your “foreign girlfriends” as marked by them wanting you to take them to America to live with you, and you not wanting to do that. That seems like a good reason for them to be unhappy.

  4. Bobby says:

    ¨Whereas a romantic relationship is supposed to be about people on equal footing for mutual benefit. You *are* the judge, but so is she. If either of you are unhappy, you lose.¨

    Well,

    Not really lose anymore then them. You´ve got to take it more casual with them and just chat up some other women ,and if the others give you too much grief( supposed loss), cut them loose.

  5. Candice says:

    Emotionalism from some of my female friends drives me crazy! I can’t stand the overload either.

    My male friends tend to give me pep talks about being positive and taking control of my life and nip any whinging in the bud that way. The message is basically take control of you life, solve the problem and stop wallowing in it. I’ve taken to doing that to female friends – I really can’t take being their outlet for emotional anguish anymore.

    It is hard however to create a balance between listening to support a friend and being firm with them taking responsibility for solving their own problems.

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