A Conversation And A Thought

I was at the coffee shop yesterday afternoon- I usually go to coffee shops in the afternoon to get out of the house- and I was sitting at one of the large tables, because the wifi wasn’t working on the other side.

A nice looking woman, I’m guessing in her 50’s, came in and sat down, and got some books and magazines out of her bag and started making some notes. I thought this would be a good opportunity to start a conversation, but I wasn’t sure what to say. The book was a textbook on fitness training so I thought about saying something about that, but I still wasn’t sure. To reduce the risk to myself, I got up, put my stuff away, and then asked her “What are you working on?”

She said she was studying to be a personal trainer, and we talked about that a bit. As often happens when I start a conversation, she was quite willing to talk and more willing to continue than I was. I let the conversation stop, to see if she was interested in continuing. She asked me “What are you working on?” and I told her “Nothing right now” and explained I was waiting to hear about a job. She said “Good luck!” and ended it like that.

Part was I suppose I looked like I was ready to go; however I shouldn’t have said what I did. I believe it is a “demonstration of lower value” to say you aren’t doing anything and don’t have a job. I told my craigslist hookup my situation and she mulled it over pretty hard- she didn’t say anything but I could see the gears turning in her head- and she was an unattractive middle-aged woman, and we were only getting together for sex. I will have to come up with the happy spin for my situation. It would have been nice to talk a little more and maybe get her number- she had no ring on- but at least I talked to her a bit. For me that is an accomplishment. If I would do this more than once every few weeks, I might get somewhere.

I am in another coffee shop this afternoon- I like to rotate a bit, I don’t want to become one of the weirdos I see all the time at my main coffee shop- and next to me in line was another nice-looking woman in her 50’s. She was not getting coffee, but a bag of beans. I wanted to talk to her also, but beyond asking her what kind of coffee beans I couldn’t think of anything. That probably would have been fine though.

As I was checking out I saw some individual pies in the bakery case, kind of like the Hostess fruit pies. I immediately started thinking of various rude jokes that can be made on the subject of “pie” (a slang term for the female genitalia for the unfamiliar.) I then further thought of Assanova’s insistence that one be a good conversationalist, and it occurred to me maybe lots of guys aren’t good conversationalists with women because they spend most of their time in ribald conversation with other guys, friends and acquaintances. I love obscene joking, and I know what is and isn’t appropriate, but I don’t know if I can have a conversation with a woman that is fun and stimulating as well as polite and appropriate. Yet another thing to work on! I think I need to develop a little more confidence with polite, dull conversations first.

12 Responses to A Conversation And A Thought

  1. […] Omega Man – “The Strange Life of Naturals“, “A Conversation and a Thought” […]

  2. bram5 says:

    Same problem here. Still can not come up with a decent “coffee” line…

  3. This is one of the misleading issues regarding game. I think all women have a built in defense against conversation with men they don’t know. You’ll encounter the bitch shield in elevators, coffee shops, laundromats, etc. She thinks, “Why is this strange man I don’t know talking to me? Creeeepy…” It does not matter much if the man is good looking, but if the guy is average or below in looks he is dead in the water. Women will turn off the shield in certain venues. Day game is difficult.

  4. Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

    GFO. I am absoulutely facinated by your admission of sexual problems partly due to some form of undisclosed trauma. As I said previously, I suffer from the same problem and although I have only expeirenced sex vacariously through others I have managed to traumatise myself big time. I would truly be eternally grateful if you would read this story and tell me your thoughts on it. This is one of the many sexual things that have tramuatised me significantly. It’s become my obsession and I’ve now began to draw masochistic pleasure from the suffering. I really do wish Sheila Tone could read this to, to get an idea of why I responded to her in way I did. Here’s the story.


    • Sheila Tone says:

      If GFO says it turns him on I’ll look at it, but if it’s just you, forget it. Yuck.

      • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

        It’s supposed to disgust you, that’s the reaction that more or less normal people have. If you did react to it positively that would make you a whore worthy of death. I guess it’s asking to much for you to peer into the depths of my dysfunction.

      • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

        Sheila if you won’t indulge me in reading the story, will you indulge me by what it is about me that you find so repulsive? This may seem like a rhetorical question, but it isn’t. I’m not saying you’re wrong in thinking that of me, but I’m curious as to the exact reasons. Why do you think that I have no compassion for ANYONE? That seems to be an extreme estimation.

    • I just glanced at that but that’s bad news. The current line is that porn is not a big deal, but I think the truth is if you’re not regularly having sex it can mess you up. I think you should avoid porn altogether and if you have to look at some stick with very conventional stuff.

      • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

        Sage advice, I am a very seasoned pornography viewer and can testify to the wisdom of your words. I think perversion exists in every man, what makes the difference is whether or not you choose to nurture it or starve it to death through lack of attention. My fetishes have taken hold of me and now any sexual thought is tainted with deep negative feelings. Not all of them are as self destructive as the story I showed you though.

      • Sheila Tone says:

        OM, I would think whatever can jumpstart your sexual imagination is a good thing. You need to stay feeling sexual if you’re going to develop a sexual relationship with another person.

        If you like stuff that hurts people or is criminal, it’s a problem that you’re turned on by that in the first place, not that you’re looking at the porn of it.

        Mahoney, you hate me and you wish my little sons would die. You said so. Of course you’re repulsive. And the fact that you could say that to someone even anonymously indicates you’re unloving and therefore unlovable.

  5. Sheila Tone says:

    Wait a second, she was the one who wanted to keep talking to you, and you concluded it.

    Were you trying to pick her up or not? You haven’t said, and you’re younger than she was, and 50s is pretty old (who knows what she’s looking for, if anything), so when you didn’t actively pursue the conversation she probably just figured it was over.

  6. Colin says:

    Possibly the lady just couldn’t think of anything to say. It’s not unusual and happens to women, too. No need to try to read her mind – you have no way of knowing what goes on there. Taking things at face value and not reading negative things into situations that take a seemingly undesirable turn is often a good idea.
    Also, don’t assume that the fault is yours – one thing that naturals do is never to assume that.

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