So what the hell is Omega Man going to do?
I honestly don’t know yet. The last two years have been pretty hellish with no or really bad employment. I can’t really get myself going on any real self-improvement unless I have a decent job. I thought I had something good lined up last week but it was delayed and I haven’t heard from the guy yet. I hope it comes through- it’s not a dream job but all things considered in the industry pretty good.
I have my one foreign girlfriend and as the cliche goes, I love her, but I’m not in love with her. There are some things missing, one of them frankly being I wish she was a little hotter. She is educated, ambitious, hard-working, and comes from a good family. She would be a net asset to me, unlike my other one, with whom I had a very strong but dysfunctional bond. She still has doubts about me- she seems to have no ability to handle my moodiness. She said we need time together; when and how that is going to happen I don’t know.
My other remotely plausible current leads are in faraway, not necessarily really pleasant places. I will go if I have to but I don’t know if that would be OK with her.
Married or not I want to work on this; it’s all about self-improvement as applied to social functioning, and I want to figure out a way to make myself work as a social person, socially and economically.
There isn’t in any case too much reason to fear the future; there is always hope, and always reason to look for a good outcome. My real troubles have been unforseen anyway, and I can’t worry about something I can’t even imagine yet; better to deal with it when it comes. It will be trouble enough then, and I need my strength for now.