One of the things the author wants you to do in “I Can Make You Confident” is to monitor your internal dialogue, but I don’t have, strictly speaking, I just have feelings. I have strong physical reactions to things.
This guy does “NLP”, and even quotes NLP originator Richard Bandler several times. Now, is this useful and valid? Like most self-help things it’s somewhere between common sense and complete BS. I’m only interested in the extent to which it might help me, and maybe you.
NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) divides thought into the visualized, heard internally, and felt. The felt is called “kinesthetic” and is the best description of my memory or internal dialogue-
This has allowed me to get a better grip on my thought process. Negative feelings don’t scare me as much, I can trace where they come from and deal with it. “Confidence” is some combination of experience, modeling other’s behavior, and direct learning from adults who teach you how to deal with feelings like fear and embarrassment. If you have bad experience, you can still model others, or best yet deal with the internal process.
Another thing is visualizing a more confident self, and when I do this I always see myself wearing much different clothes than what I actually wear. I know clothing is very important, and I have seen its effects on women, and yet I still wear mostly crappy clothing. I’m unemployed and dragging my ass most of the time, but this is something I think I, and every guy must make a habit of.
Here is an old bit from the David Letterman show from the 80’s, back when he was funny. I have looked for it before but searching for it again I found it. The magic of YouTube-
Inside and outside.