More On The Confidence Book

I have been going through this more, and I got to thinking what is usually called “confidence” is projecting a certain kind of image.

This image is typified by salesmen- outgoing, social, conventional, a bit superior. And I’m not like this at all, and I don’t really want to project this image.

However the author says he doesn’t want you to project this, he wants you to project your “true self”. Frankly I’m a little afraid to project my true self. My true self is a little weird, has kind of a short attention span, needs constant novel stimulation, has a dry sense of humor a lot of people don’t get, and is kind of a dick sometimes.

A change of strategy can’t hurt though. I usually try to be very conservative, careful and polite with people but my frustration and unhappiness show through and they think worse of me than if I had been my natural self.

The author also tends to treat fear in the same manner as cognitive therapists- “foolish irrational thoughts easily dismissed’ but at least without adding “unless you are stupid and lazy” as they typically do. I have real experiences that account for my discomfort, but I do realize I can’t be subjected to the kind of treatment I was as a child.

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2 Responses to More On The Confidence Book

  1. Sheila Tone says:

    I’ve had some success diffusing misunderstandings with, “I’m sorry, did I do something weird? That’ll happen.”

  2. SFG says:

    Haha…yup. I think it might be wiser to stop talking about ‘being yourself’ and go back to the old Victorian idea of approved social mores, except of course that now they involve being what the Victorians would have called a lout! There’s an appropriate way to act, but nobody likes to admit that anymore.

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