I have been going through this more, and I got to thinking what is usually called “confidence” is projecting a certain kind of image.
This image is typified by salesmen- outgoing, social, conventional, a bit superior. And I’m not like this at all, and I don’t really want to project this image.
However the author says he doesn’t want you to project this, he wants you to project your “true self”. Frankly I’m a little afraid to project my true self. My true self is a little weird, has kind of a short attention span, needs constant novel stimulation, has a dry sense of humor a lot of people don’t get, and is kind of a dick sometimes.
A change of strategy can’t hurt though. I usually try to be very conservative, careful and polite with people but my frustration and unhappiness show through and they think worse of me than if I had been my natural self.
The author also tends to treat fear in the same manner as cognitive therapists- “foolish irrational thoughts easily dismissed’ but at least without adding “unless you are stupid and lazy” as they typically do. I have real experiences that account for my discomfort, but I do realize I can’t be subjected to the kind of treatment I was as a child.