Sports are a big part of socialization and bonding. Ideally children participate in team sports and absorb various lessons about dealing with others. As a person of low status, it’s probable you didn’t have this experience. Can you get this experience as an adult?
My experience with this is mixed. Going into high school I wanted to have the experience of playing on a team, so I got into a sport not played outside of high school, with the idea that nobody else had played it either so I wouldn’t be too far behind. It was a mixed experience- I guess I got a lot out of it, but lacking the ability to make friends or deal with aggressive people I didn’t really enjoy it. I should have stuck with it, but I didn’t.
More recently I tried some adult leagues. One was soccer- I figured that was enough of a casual sport that it would be more about having fun, but instead it was a lot of people who were soccer fanatics and really good. Another was flag football, and this was more fun, although even though it was more casual my lack of athletic skill handicapped me. It was broadening though- there was one guy who I thought was kind of a dick. He was hypercompetitive, and even took a knee to run down the clock late in games, which violated an unwritten rule. One night only me and him showed up, so we played catch for a while. He turned out to be OK. Another was kickball, which was totally casual but not very social- people came to the game and left, while with football we had beers afterwards sometimes. I also was in a golf league, where you had a lesson and then played nine holes. The people here ranged from indifferent to unfriendly mostly.
These can be fun, but as you can see, sometimes people will be more into the sport than just having fun, and it may not be enjoyable. Work leagues may be perilous, but it probably won’t hurt to show up and see how it goes. I was really to old for these leagues, they were targeted to people in their 20’s and I was already in my 40’s. Anyway, experiment, see how it goes, and don’t worry about it too much.
A lot of other activities are good ways to get out without having to do too much exertion or show too much athletic skill. I have always enjoyed sailing. Sailing classes are fun. I had one disturbing experience in a sailing class which I’ll relate at some point. I crewed a few times on a big racing yacht, but the yelling and screaming didn’t appeal to me. I raced in a club small boat league a couple of times, another thing I wish I had done more. But if you can sail a boat, and have access to one, you can take people sailing, which is pretty cool. I did this once in the military and it was a big hit. I’ve never done sailing as a date. It could be risky because she’s confined in a boat with you and may get seasick, but as a second or third date in calm water should be OK.
I have done some glider flying, and this is a big nerd hobby. One of the problems with it being a nerd hobby is if you go out to a club, you will be dealing with a bunch of engineers who won’t talk to you or look you in the eye- or this is my experience with one club anyway. Flying with a club is not expensive. And you can take a woman for a ride, again something I have not done yet but could be an excellent date.
Skydiving I suspect is a nerd hobby. I went once many years ago when they still used round chutes. I’m guessing it’s more fun now with the more maneuverable square chutes. I was younger then- I don’t know if I could still jump out of an airplane. But if you’re curious give it a try.
Motorcycles are at least on some level a nerd hobby. Anything dealing with machines is. The Motorcycle Safety Foundation offers classes most places where they provide the motorcycle, so you can try it out and get the license with minimal investment. If you want to play with it more you can get a 250cc starter bike for $2000 used easily, and ride that for a while.
The list could be longer but the point is, get out of the house and have new experiences. If you’ve always wanted to do something, do it. You’re not getting any younger and what you don’t enjoy today, you may not be able to enjoy tomorrow. When you’re a kid people want to embarrass you and give you a hard time if you’re doing something new and aren’t good at it, but as an adult people don’t do that.