Tucker Max comments on the Karen Owes hoo-ha-
Interestingly, to me, Max identifies her as “probably… she’s very lonely (probably had shitty parents who ignored her)”. Max is not introspective and doesn’t speculate much about people’s’ motivations but as a socially successful and dominant person he must have excellent insight into them, so I trust his evaluation.
I think most people would agree childhood unhappiness has a pervasive effect on people’s’ behavior. A popular self-help book of the 70’s was “I’m OK, You’re OK” by Thomas Harris. One of his theses was that all children suffer from low self-esteem, due to being small and helpless in a world of larger, more powerful people.
I don’t know if this is always true, but it’s very often true. A child is dependent on his parents for basic survival. Depending on the environment he is in, at some point he realizes this is conditioned on various things, his behavior, the moods of his parents, and the interaction of these things. This is pretty disturbing as he realizes he must please the powerful and also realizes he doesn’t always know how to do this. As he gets older, he becomes more focused on the outside world, particularly around puberty. Then he realizes he must please others and again, isn’t always sure he can do it.
In an ideal situation neither of these realizations provokes significant anxiety- the child is assured of the approval and support of his parents, and is socialized to relate effectively to others. In a bad situation the adult child (to borrow another pop or self-help psychology term) experiences anxiety both in relating to peers and to authority figures.
Should you just relax, and not worry about it? Typical advice, and typically worthless. You do need to please authority figures, and you do need to please peers. However, you don’t need to do it to the extent you probably think you need to. The problem with this background anxiety is you are probably not even aware of it.
This brings to mind for me a couple of related ideas. The first is relating to people on a submissional or avoidant level, and the second is having a focus on anxiety. I will talk about these later.