Childhood Anxiety and Self Esteem

Tucker Max comments on the Karen Owes hoo-ha-

http://www.tuckermax.com/blog/what-i-think-about-karen-owens-and-the-duke-fuck-list/

Interestingly, to me, Max identifies her as “probably…  she’s very lonely (probably had shitty parents who ignored her)”. Max is not introspective and doesn’t speculate much about people’s’ motivations but as a socially successful and dominant person he must have excellent insight into them, so I trust his evaluation.

I think most people would agree childhood unhappiness has a pervasive effect on people’s’ behavior. A popular self-help book of the 70’s was “I’m OK, You’re OK” by Thomas Harris. One of his theses was that all children suffer from low self-esteem, due to being small and helpless in a world of larger, more powerful people.

I don’t know if this is always true, but it’s very often true. A child is dependent on his parents for basic survival. Depending on the environment he is in, at some point he realizes this is conditioned on various things, his behavior, the moods of his parents, and the interaction of these things. This is pretty disturbing as he realizes he must please the powerful and also realizes he doesn’t always know how to do this. As he gets older, he becomes more focused on the outside world, particularly around puberty. Then he realizes he must please others and again, isn’t always sure he can do it.

In an ideal situation neither of these realizations provokes significant anxiety- the child is assured of the approval and support of his parents, and is socialized to relate effectively to others. In a bad situation the adult child (to borrow another pop or self-help psychology term) experiences anxiety both in relating to peers and to authority figures.

Should you just relax, and not worry about it? Typical advice, and typically worthless. You do need to please authority figures, and you do need to please peers. However, you don’t need to do it to the extent you probably think you need to. The problem with this background anxiety is you are probably not even aware of it.

This brings to mind for me a couple of related ideas. The first is relating to people on a submissional or avoidant level, and the second is having a focus on anxiety. I will talk about these later.

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4 Responses to Childhood Anxiety and Self Esteem

  1. monad says:

    Actually I’d say that Tucker Max could be very introspective, but he would not share this with others much. He could have a whole other side to him, but because he likely shares it with few, if any, few, if any know. And what use would sharing this with others benifit him? Very little I should imagine.

  2. […] Omega Man – “Childhood Anxiety and Self Esteem” […]

  3. MQ says:

    That Tucker Max link shows you how an ACTUAL “alpha” — someone who is completely secure about his power over women — writes and thinks. Compare to Roissy, who is still caught up in various juvenile complexes because he didn’t get laid enough in his 20s.

  4. Sheila Tone says:

    “Interestingly, to me, Max identifies her as “probably… she’s very lonely (probably had shitty parents who ignored her)”. Max is not introspective and doesn’t speculate much about people’s’ motivations but as a socially successful and dominant person he must have excellent insight into them, so I trust his evaluation.”

    I disagree with the “must have.” He is successful and dominant because he is a good-looking, rich frat boy. End of story. He is good at telling people what they want to hear, but that doesn’t take much ability once you have a credulous audience.

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