My Experience With Sex Surrogacy

A couple of commenters have asked me to relate this experience. This was just about 20 years ago so one, various things may have changed since then, and two, a few details may have slipped my mind- I am getting old.

But first, my first attempt at sex. When I was 26 or 27 I decided to go to a prostitute to end my virginity. I was living in southern California at the time so I made a trip to Tijuana. With much embarrassment I bought some condoms at the drug and discount store, as they were called then, as if anybody cared I was buying condoms. I parked my car on the American side, walked across, and went downtown. Until recently Tijuana or the equivalent border towns were an excellent value for paid sex, if you lived within driving distance of the border- prostitution is legal and cheap. Today is a different story. I don’t know if Tijuana is as bad as the eastern part of Mexico but anywhere in Mexico is probably bad news. If you want to try this carefully check out the situation before you go.

I found a bar/strip club with a few women hanging around. One was pretty cute but not making eye contact with me. Another was OK looking but I wasn’t that interested in her. Somebody throws a little wad of paper at me. I look and it’s the second woman. She is making a sex motion with her hands, running a finger in and out of a circle made with the thumb and forefinger of her other hand. I look away but she comes up to me. I decide to go for it so we leave the bar, go next door, and I pay something like $10 for the room to a guy at a gate, who lets us in and we go upstairs. She asked for the money then, it was something like $25. I pay her and we take off our clothes. She was an actual woman, closing in on middle age, who looked like she had had a kid. She didn’t look like the women in Playboy, so I was a little disappointed. And I was kind of freaked out by the whole thing anyway. As an older guy who actually has experienced a little of life and sex, I would do her with gusto now. She was very nice.

She starts sucking me but I’m not really getting hard. I tried putting a condom on but again I’m not getting hard. I tried inserting but it wasn’t happening. She asked me if I had ever been with “a girl like me” before, and I told her no, I had never had sex before. We gave up shortly after, put our clothes on and went downstairs. She kissed me on the cheek and we went our separate ways.

So I would not recommend a prostitute for a first time. If you’re nervous and inhibited, you’re not going to have the time to relax.

A couple years later I was feeling very disturbed sexually. I had read about sex surrogacy and thought that might be the answer. I looked in the yellow pages and indeed there was a sex therapist offering surrogate therapy in the area. I called and made an appointment, and I explained my problem was I had never had sex before.

The therapist was a relatively young guy. I talked to him and he explained each session would be two hours. I would talk to him first about what I would be doing, then spend an hour with the surrogate, then talk with him and the surrogate about what we had done. I was required to take and HIV test and bring the results but no condoms were involved.

I came back a few days or a week later and he introduced me to the surrogate, a Filipino woman. The program was a gradual process, starting with just touching with clothes on and only getting to intercourse at the end. I went with the surrogate to the other room. It had a mattress with sheets on the floor. I started crying. She comforted me a little, but then asked me “Are you going to be able to do this?” and I took the hint I needed to stop. The first session was she spent some time just running her fingers over my face, then I did the same to her. The next was touching feet. The next I think we got naked and did backrubs. This was not cheap- I was paying $200 a session, out of my own pocket or credit cards, not covered by insurance- but I was getting comfortable with sex and contact.

We got to the genitals and she showed me the parts and function of the female anatomy. I learned cunnilingus and stimulating the clitoris and G-spot with a finger. I got quite good at it, she had an orgasm and said “I got your face all wet!” I enjoyed it a lot then but haven’t felt the urge to perform orally on a woman for a long time.

They told me I was going to get inside her, but at a time of her choosing. They had something they called a “quick dip”- she gets on top of you, inserts your erect penis into herself to check you can do it and nothing happens, and then quickly gets off. I remember her getting on top of me and her straight, shoulder-length hair brushing against my face. That was erotic. Then she put my penis inside her vagina, and I wasn’t that impressed. “Is that what all the fuss is about?” I asked myself. Remembering it now it was wonderful. It was tight, deliciously warm, and to my surprise rough.

As an aside, that’s why I hate condoms. You feel none of that with a condom, except a little pressure. If there is one reason we have to hate gays, it’s because they got everybody convinced you have to always wear a condom or you’re going to die. Actually, no. Men having anal sex need to use condoms. Otherwise you don’t.

I had full intercourse with her the next time, I think, but couldn’t come. They switched me over to another surrogate for what they called “validation”, or seeing if everything worked with another woman. She was a nice-looking, fair-skinned Latina, and we hit it off great. I ate her out and she loved it, we had intercourse but I couldn’t come. Still that has been one of the best sexual experiences of my life. The next week I came back. I wanted to try it with a condom on. I made some positive mention of the small amount of fat on her body and she pouted. I couldn’t come this time either. She was curt in the debrief, still hurt, and left. I still feel bad about that. One is constantly reminded how sensitive women are.

So I learned how to have sex with a woman and do it pretty well. The problem of not being able to reach orgasm has continued to bother me. The reason I recommend this for guys with no sexual experience is I think if you are trying to get with a woman, the fear of what is going to happen if and when you finally get her naked is always there.


22 Responses to My Experience With Sex Surrogacy

  1. Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

    First I want to express my deepest gratitude for all you’ve contributed through this blog, it is seriously of inestimable value. The trouble when your an extremely low status male is that you always feel like your the only one, that your the lowest piece of shit on earth and nobody could possible as intensely as you do. That’s why reading this blog helps me, and that’s why I was right to chastise that cunt Shelia, who has no capacity to emphasize or extend compassion.

    One aspect of the emerging PUA/Game culture I hate is that most of the men wholly adopt a female set of values regarding which men and worthy of honor and which ones are worthy of scorn. None of them are willing to display their humiliation and failures even though so many men could benefit from hearing it. I can understand how men would put on the synthetic alpha pose around women, but those who it take it so seriously as to do it around other men are fucking pathetic.

    I’m a 22 year old omega virgin and I have thought about going down the prositute route. I honestly feel that I would truly hate the experience and I expect to have a shit time. Mostly I just want to get it offer with so I can stop obsessing about sex. I would be deathly afraid of failing to perform sexually in such an encounter so I’d probably take some Viagra or something along with me. One thing I don’t want is to become even more jaded about sex than I already am.

    I think sexual surrogates are the only example of women that are whores, promiscuous, zero value as a wife and mother, but are also noble, altruistic people. I have a kind of childish, masturbatory fantasy of women would turn up the sexual volume full blast giving them tremendous power and influence in society, but then use that power only for altruistic purposes. What a world it would be. Mr. Omega, to your knowledge how common is it for women to give men pity sex, from my perspective it seems it almost never happens.

    • shtirlitz says:

      Hey man, I was 22 year old omega virgin when I went to the prostitute route. Amsterdam Red Lights district. Shitty time, yeah, but it got the job done. Helped me to shake off a bit that fear of sex, and short time after I got a girlfriend.

      • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

        Mind if I ask exactly why you had a shitty time with that prostitute? Please share the embarrassing graphic details. I also have a fear of sex and I am extremely jaded about sex, like you wouldn’t fucking believe, so if it takes a prostitute to relieve me then so be it. Afterwards did you cease being an omega?

    • Sheila Tone says:

      Well, that is probably because you are an asshole. You have no compassion for anyone, why would they want to be around you?

      Plus you are clearly jealous of Omega Man. And you are easily dupable by him, due to this jealousy.

      • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

        That means a hell of a lot coming from a person like you, you’ve repeatedly been exposed for the manipulative cunt that you are. This is a blog about male insecurity and how to overcome it, you come here confessing that you LOVE male insecurity and then you want to accuse me of not having compassion for ANYONE? Not anybody baby, just the likes of you. Just because a person wants what somebody else has, doesn’t necessarily mean they hate that person or wish them harm. I want to receive help from him because he clearly cares about people and is willing to display vulnerability, where as you just want to swing by every now and then with your little snarky comments and call him a liar and then like every other modern woman cunt, you want to hide behind a veneer of just wanting to help. Fucking laughable.

      • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

        I’ve called you out because you display no sympathy for the plight of lower status males, you also display no indifference, you display outright joy in their sufferings. You’re a mean, insufferable person, I think that much is very clear. If you really do like GFO then my accusation cannot be denied. You choose to show your affection through insults, accusing him of lying, and just being a rude bitch in general, I take it this is your authentic personality and this is how you treat your friends and loved ones to, charming! Because you display a typical female hatred of men who don’t sexually excite you, you fail to realize that the purpose of this blog is two fold. One to receive help, advice and support from those higher in the chain the him (alpha males), two to help those lower than he, those who happen to be omegas but who haven’t made the great efforts GFO has. You don’t fit into either category, you can’t offer advice and can’t receive help, at least the other women on this blog are encouraging, or only tease him in a playful, gentle manner, not so with you.

        I’d love to know how me calling him a courageous man and telling him what great work he’s doing is dragging him down, yet calling him a liar isn’t, the mind works in mysterious ways. One of the differences between you and I Shelia, is I will admit my obvious flaws, without going into the degrading details I admit that I am a very fucked up, undesirable person that needs to make some serious changes. Yet you can’t see how when you fill up the comment section with rude, insulting, comments, making predictably contrary statement every single time……you can’t admit that your just a rude bitch. If you think there’s nothing wrong with you then you have a serious problem.

        I don’t think my assessments of your personality and my dislike of you is wrong or irrational, but your right in suggesting that I’ve let your hostility get under my skin and my aversion to you has become deeply personal. All true, my dear. Anybody who takes pleasure in hurting others is a cunt, period. You and I are natural enemies, I know you’d try and destroy me if you could, so I stand in readiness to destroy you instead. But I want to take this opportunity to try and learn from my enemy, something I don’t normally do. Indulge me why don’t you, take the gloves off if they weren’t off already. I want you, to the best of your ability, describe what you see as the fundamental differences between me and GFO .

        PS. By a compassionate whore I mean a women willing to provide the kind of gentle, nurturing, loving and instructive experience that sexually damaged men need in order to recover, or indeed even the have a good time. I’m not a mindless hater Sheila, I don’t hate indiscriminately, I pick my targets and then I pour out the venom.

    • shtirlitz says:

      Shitty time cause it was totally synthetic. First I had to pay her (50 euros or something), then all she does is accompanied by asking for more money. Remove the bra? 25 euros. Another pop? 50 euros. Etc.
      She gave me a blowjob in a condom, I didn’t feel almost anything. Then she took off her panties and told me to fuck her. She was lying like a log with bored eyes, while I huffed and puffed, I couldn’t kiss her or touch her tits (more money wanted). I came and felt quite dirty. Sex is all about
      connection and mechanical sex is deeply unsatisfying, although in a different way from how the lack of sex is unsatisfying.

      It was 9 years ago, I slept with about 20 women since, and also with some more prostitutes, but my sex complexes are still largely unresolved. So think about this example. Fucking a prostitute will remove the virginity thing out of the way, but it won’t magically cure you.
      Now if you choose to go this route, and again, it might seem like a huge thing to you, but in retrospective it’s not such a big deal, yeah, go for a girl who you feel some connection with (i.e. some chatting before, i believe the best is to disclose your situation and make sure she reacts positively), and who does “GFE” (i.e. kissing and cuddling), so that you have a nice memory, and good incentive to go for real women.

      In case you have more questions, you’re welcome to drop me a line at . But append the letter “k” to “logic”.
      Good luck

  2. […] Omega Man – “My Experience with Sex Surrogacy” […]

  3. some anon says:

    thanks for sharing this, OMan. I think that nowadays with the internet available it would be easier (and cheaper) to find a willing older prostitute to gently bring you along than to use a surrogate. But I can understand wanting to take the more therapeutic route as well.

    • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

      Do actually suspect one can find a compassionate whore? I’d love to myself, but it seems very unlikely to me.

      • Sheila Tone says:

        By compassionate, you mean someone who’d do you for free, M.? Or perhaps someone who’d make excuses for your venomous assaults?

        Omega Man, the Mahoney dynamic here is instructive because it sometimes drags down guys like you in real life. A guy like you will have a guy like him hanging around, ruining everything. Take note of how he always finds a way to bring me up, and how he hates that I like you, and is determined to ruin any pleasure I get from your company. There are guys like that in real life, too. Don’t let them ruin your game.

      • some anon says:

        I think it really depends on what you mean by compassionate. I’ve had a few experiences with prostitutes and on more than one occasion during the session I could really forget that it was a business transaction and enjoy just being with a beautiful girl (even if it was only for an hour). The girls who offer this kind of session weren’t cheap and, like everything else in life, what you put in will have a great effect on what you get out.

  4. raedawn says:

    I wanna be a sex surrogate and charge guys $200 an hour for eating me out.

    • Mahoney (the key board warrior) says:

      Even if they were hapless omega males, the lowest of the low?

      • Mahoney, I appreciate you’re angry and frustrated. However it’s important not to be too down on yourself. If you have one thing going for you it’s that you’re young, and you have time to work on making your life better.

  5. Caroline says:

    Just a hint for finding compassionate prostitutes: The lower the price, the more clients she has to do to get her daily salary. Do you really expect someone who has sex with multiple men a day on a regular basis to have the energy to be enthusiastic, feel for you and go into your needs? You get what you pay for.

  6. zen says:

    First off let me say you are very courageous for sharing your experiences on this blog. I am a virgin at 22 and it is hard to find others to talk to w/o embarassment. I have made out with about 5 or so girls but nothing further, she wasnt feeling it or I just bitched out due to outcome fear. Havent thought much about the prostitute angle and I try not to focus on sex, as appear to come off desperate constantly. Making progress though with help from your blog and others, Roosh, Paradigm Shift, to name a few. Keep up the good work.

  7. Subomega says:

    Try being a 42 yr old virgin with diabeties and no $. People who know me tell me I’d be better off dead.

    • It’s important to carefully order your priorities. Obviously you have a health problem that you need to effectively deal with first. Here is some stuff from a blog by a cardiologist who mainly writes about heart disease, but also other disorders. He is basically pretty hard-line about eating carbs-

      People who tell you you are better off dead are assholes. Everybody copes with different problems in life, and yours are bad, but you still have some ability to enjoy life, whether you’re able to overcome your problems partially, totally, or not at all.

      • Subomega says:

        Thanks for taking time to reply. I looked at the url and yes he’s pretty anti-carb. Oddly enough the people that told me that were 1) a psychiatrist (so I paid to hear that and he validated my rather low opinion of the “mental health” industry and 2)online “friends” who disliked seeing me suffer so they said. Anyway all the best to you .

  8. Leo says:

    Yes. You do need a condom to prevent disease. This man is uninformed. Dangerously so. You can contract HIV with any sexual contact, including oral sex.

  9. ollol ooper says:

    “I came back a few days or a week later and he introduced me to the surrogate, a Filipino woman.”

    Who, or rather, what, else?

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