Condolences to Assanova

If you read The Real Assanova’s blog- which I strongly recommend, as it has the most useful and realistic advice for men of all levels of status and experience- you know he suffered a serious loss recently-

http://www.realassanova.com/2010/10/few-more-weeks.html

My condolences to Assanova. I really don’t know what to say, as this is the most serious loss a person can experience. You expect to see your parents go, and many of your peers- my dad’s social life revolves around the funerals of his high school classmates- but your children should outlast you, and produce children who will outlast them. I once witnessed a father retrieving the body of his son, who had died in a car accident in another country. I don’t think I will see anything as sad as long as I live.

Unfortunately loss is a big part of life. All of us, or most of us, lose our youthful hopes and dreams, then our youth, friendships, relationships, jobs, money and investments, and eventually probably our middle-aged hopes and dreams. This is all in the natural order of things. Some of us lose our innocence too young, our faith and trust in humanity, our dignity and the integrity of our persons.

For a lot of people life doesn’t offer a lot. Do I counsel despair? No. We can only take the good we can get out of life on a daily basis, enjoy what we can, remember the good times, and try to put the bad in some kind of perspective.

My biggest regret is my relationship with my mother. She was a cold, neurotic religious fanatic, and she blamed me for the bad things that happened to me. I didn’t see her when she died- when I left she was out of it and not expected to live more than a week, then she had a recovery for a while. I talked to her on the phone a few times but I didn’t go back- I felt I needed to move on with my life and I didn’t want to miss out on the training I was in. Should I have gone back? Should I have patched things up with her earlier? I was just a kid, and I had to get by the best I knew how. She was an adult, and as constricted as she was I think she had to take more responsibility than she did.

I had a great ride the other day. The sun was shining and I had a beautiful day up in the mountains. Today was cold and cloudy, tomorrow it rains. Next week I will probably go interview for a job I will probably hate.

Take what you can and enjoy it, today, because nobody know what tomorrow holds.

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6 Responses to Condolences to Assanova

  1. sestamibi says:

    My beautiful son is 12 and low-functioning autistic. I spend as much time on the weekends with him as I possibly can because I’m an older dad and take your last sentence very seriously (and also to give my wife some time off too). I grieve because I don’t know what will happen to him after I’m gone and because he speaks very rudimentally and can’t tell someone when he’s in pain.

    All I can do is savor these precious moments for the brief time we’re both here together.

  2. I’m sure your son enjoys the time you spend with him very much. You really can’t give your child any bigger gift than your time. My dad pretty much ignored me my whole childhood, an hour a week would have been great.

  3. MW says:

    Seems his entire blog is gone now. No trace of it to be found. Any idea what happened?

    • He has indicated that he had grown bored with the whole game thing. He stopped selling his e-books last fall. I think he decided to move on and make a clean break. I wanted to buy some of his books but I was too late.

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