I was listening to the Neil Strauss webcast yesterday and he gets into “people who don’t like others usually don’t like themselves, so it’s a self-esteem issue.”
Neil Strauss is an intelligent, thoughtful man but it seems even he is prey to buzzwords. The idea that people who don’t like others don’t like themselves is a cliché. I guess the idea of discovering that any socially inconvenient thoughts or behavior actually reveal a defect in the subject. Applying Occam’s Razor, people who don’t like other people probably have some reason for it, which (gasp!) might actually be rational.
I don’t like other people because I have had a lot of bad experiences with them. The omega reader will probably have the same attitude, being the bottom monkey in the tree and getting the crap of all the other monkeys and looking up and seeing their assholes.
If you are rich and powerful you will tend to like people as they are kissing your ass all the time. On the other hand you will probably be suspicious of this, since if you have the social perceptiveness to be rich and powerful you should realize many are insincere and resent this. If you are on the bottom of the totem pole, most people will be indifferent to you at best, but you know those who are nice mean it. On the other hand they may be patronizing you and you may resent that.
The problem as a low status individual is finding the relatively few worthwhile, quality individuals you actually want to relate to. I’m trying to find a way to do this in the least painful way possible.
In his dilbert.com blog, Scott Adams whips out the terms “winners” and “losers”. These are terms that became popular in the 70’s and I hate them. “Winners” are just socially approved people and “losers” are socially disapproved. The irony is that his beloved cartoon character, Dilbert, is clearly a loser. He has no status and is pushed around by his idiot boss, the pointy-haired guy, who is clearly a winner.
Remember that most of what passes for psychology these days is like medicine in the 1800’s- mostly useless, occasionally harmful, and probably not worth bothering with. This applies especially to “self-help” and pop psychology especially.