Ferdinand Bardimu had a discussion with blogger Robert Lindsay about mental disorders and social rankings-
The question is the specific type of mental problem. Lindsay says he has found anxiety and depression to be relationship killers. I have also. He says that while some of the OCD sufferers he deals with are without women, others are not.
Social anxiety is the worst problem for relationships. It simply makes meeting people difficult or impossible. Depression is pretty bad also, as it saps energy and makes you not fun to be around. Lindsay doesn’t mention in any detail what kinds of obsessive compulsive behavior the guys he deals with display, but probably some kinds are hard for women to deal with, and others are relatively benign.
The typical problem for a low-status male is probably social anxiety, anxiety and anxiety-related depression. These are not irrational, as mental problems are often assumed to be. If you don’t have any social power many people can make your life difficult, which is fear-inducing. If your interactions with others are likely to be met with negative feedback if you step outside of certain bounds, that is fear-inducing. Experiencing fear much of the time is draining, which leads to depression.
These are very difficult to cure, but they can be coped with or managed. Economic security is fundamental; I have talked about fitting in at the workplace and staying employed before. Social anxiety is a really hard thing. The simplest way of dealing with anxiety is exposure- the anxious person is placed in the anxiety-provoking situation and the anxiety eventually dies out. This works but is very painful, and as people generally avoid pain at all costs, doesn’t actually cure many people of anxiety.
Game should be some antidote to social anxiety as it purports to provide a toolkit of social skills to cover a variety of situations. And yet approach anxiety is acknowledged to be one of the biggest barriers to effective game and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of consensus on how best to deal with it.
Starting from the viewpoint that social anxiety is not irrational and in fact is a learned adaptive response, I have some ideas on that for my own benefit I’ll write something about later.