Rules And Flexibility

Virgil Kent talks about the rules of game, and when to break them-

http://vksempireofdirt.com/?p=1408

His most important point is you have to remember you’re dealing with human beings. If you don’t have a lot of experience with women, or if you have no experience with women, following certain rules will help you avoid doing something really stupid- what Roissy sarcastically refered to as Fuckup Avoidance Game. With all due respect I submit avoiding fuckups is a good thing. When did you ever fuck up and say “I’m glad I did that”? And when did you ever fuck up and not say “I wish I hadn’t done that”?

I was flying into Miami recently and looking down at the sprawl I remembered meeting a cute woman from Panama when I lived near there. I believe I met her on the internet and we met at an IHOP in Hialeah for breakfast. She was very cool and offered to teach me how to dance.

I called her a few days later and asked her to go out on a weekday. That’s one of the rules, you take a woman out on a weekday date first, and maybe for a couple more dates, so you don’t look too eager or desperate. She said she didn’t like to go out on weekdays because she would be tired for work.

I think I felt I had been a little snubbed and shot my wad, so I never called her back. I should have just taken her out on a weekend and who knows what have happened. I don’t hold it against myself too much- in fact I had forgotten about it until the other day. I was groping in the dark with how to relate to women, as I still am to a great extent.

The only real solution to this is experience. You have to get as much experience with women as you can, using the rules as a guideline, making judgements about what is effective for you, using your intuition when appropriate, understanding yourself and your reactions, and hopefully learning from this and not repeating any mistake more than once or twice.

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7 Responses to Rules And Flexibility

  1. […] Omega Man: Rules And Flexibility […]

  2. Sheila Tone says:

    But OM, those “Rules” are for WOMEN. So that we don’t get used sexually. You’re a MAN. You’re SUPPOSED to be desperate for sex ALL THE TIME. If you’re not we’re insulted.

    I mean, would you have been upset if all she wanted from you was sex? Because it sounds as if that might have been the case. She didn’t want to have a late night on a weeknight and be all tired the next day.

    I believed this story up until the part where you lived near Panama. Unless there’s a Panama, New Jersey. But I could totally envision you blowing an opportunity due to having a little snit. She didn’t do it your way, so forget her, right?

  3. Sheila Tone says:

    This reminds me of a story I heard from a good-looking guy. He was about 40, but everyone thought he was younger. He was used to getting women pretty much on his looks and easygoing personality.

    He went on a short trip — New York, I think — and met a woman who invited him over later. It was pretty clearly just for sex, because she knew he was leaving soon. Well he went over to her apartment and she apparently acted miffed and ended the night early (without the sex). He said she was apparently mad that he didn’t “like, show up with flowers or something” (contemptuous snort).

    He was confused and annoyed by this. To me, it seemed obvious that if a woman is doing something as sleazy and risky as inviting a guy over for casual sex, he’d *better* do something nice like bring flowers, to show his appreciation. And to make her feel not totally sleazy.

    That’s how it probably was for you. She figured the least you could do is call more than once, and meet her on a convenient night. A weeknight sounds like you’re not trying at all. Like, “Hey, my weekends are booked up but I can squeeze you in on Tuesday.”

  4. Omega Dork says:

    Sheila – the point of the post was he probably screwed up because he followed some PUA advice. Why come down on him?

  5. Sheila Tone says:

    I’m not coming down on him. I’m providing him with my valuable insight so that he might do better next time.

    He sounds as if he’s extremely concerned about avoiding potential blows to his pride, even at the price of forgoing sex and human companionship. But we women can be annoying. Is it worth it?

  6. ssssssshhhhh says:

    bla bla bla

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