Or translated, “I went to Medellin.” (A play on words of the song “Me voy para medellin”, which praises the city’s “jardines tan florecitas y mujeres como diosas.”) As a result I have spent over a week with no internet and NO FUCKING HOT WATER!
Hot water is for some reason regarded as a luxury in Colombia. The girlfriend I was visiting comes from a middle class family but they don’t have hot water. I stayed a few nights at her house. I had met her parents before; she told me she wanted me to meet her grandmother so we went there and it turned out to be a big family gathering and I met a bunch of relatives. They all loved me. She took me for a paragliding ride, which was cool but I puked at the end. We then left the city and went to a place on the ocean, and I looked forward to having hot water and internet at the hotel, but no such luck. I did some pretty good scuba diving. We enjoyed the beaches and the food. We had some bad sex but that is another issue.
At the dive place there was a geeky German guy in his 50’s, with a caramel-colored cutie from Cali. When she introduced herself to my girlfriend as being from Cali, she did a little dance, as of course Cali is famous for salsa. I thought “VirginAt50 could be enjoying this” but he never took my advice as far as I know. The German guy told me he was an engineer and had been in Colombia for 15 years, first in Cali and then in Bogota. There was a big fat guy in his 50’s with a nice-looking woman who looked around 40 from Bogota. The fat guy was a little annoying in my book- he would talk a lot, in the way of apparently trying to impress people with the places he had been and things he knew. He was pushing the woman to go diving with him, but she was scared and didn’t want to.
In any case there are women down there, much better than you can get here. The price is a plane ticket and a certain facility in Spanish. I will review and comment on Roosh’s “Bang Colombia” shortly.