Hazards Of A Cold Approach

Virgin At 50 tries a cold approach, and gets a nasty response-

http://virginat50.wordpress.com/2010/03/03/the-appliance-salesman-look/

A lot of people assume that anyone wearing a dress shirt in a store is an employee, I don’t know why, but when I was an assistant store manager I would go into other places wearing dress slacks, a dress shirt and tie and have people asking me questions all the time. Such attire is worn in many jobs not involving retail sales, but it doesn’t occur to them to look for a name tag. Chalk it up to stupidity.

One of the problems I have with all this PUA stuff is they don’t seem to account for possibilities like this- you try to talk to a woman and she behaves like a raging bitch. A not insignificant portion of the female population is like this.

The other aspect is that a certain portion of the female population is also highly status conscious and will calibrate their reaction to the perceived status of the man involved. These two portions overlap significantly, but not totally, that is some women will be a bitch just because, and others will be a bitch because they see the man as low status.

So it’s quite possible had this woman been approached by an alpha she would have squealed and gone with him to a cheap motel. Bitches be like that. In any case if you are going to make a cold approach you need to be prepared for a bad reaction.

First you need to evaluate your target a little. I think you can look at a woman and tell at a glance whether she is likely to be a bitch or not. Aggressive women will likely have over the top hair, clothes, jewelry, and makeup. Her facial expression and muscle tension will show aggression. If she is Jewish or Italian she is much more likely to be a bitch; less so if she is Asian or Latina. If she is good-looking I think she is less likely to be a bitch. Stereotypes are stereotypes because they are usually true.

There is a whole literature on this, which I am only vaguely familiar with; “The Game” only has one diagram showing body positions, which is not entirely unreasonable because it’s not a manual, but if you are going to talk about how to approach women this is important. Here is a PUA on YouTube who describes physically how to approach, unfortunately he only has this one video-

Key point- don’t approach directly. He says it lowers value, which is certainly true but if you get blown off it is less direct.

So what do you say? A whole routine might work for an experienced guy; but if you are trying to determine if she’s going to be hostile or not something much less is appropriate. I have taken the conversational skills courses, so I know you can either make a comment or ask a question. I also know that the best question is open-ended, that is not a yes or no question.

This is different though; a comment is best, because she can just ignore it, and demonstrate her bitchiness that way. In all fairness nobody has any obligation to talk you; they don’t even have any obligation to be polite. As a matter of social cohesion it is not good to unnecessarily embarrass anyone. The second best option is a yes or no question; she can ignore you, answer yes or no, or if she is really interested in talking she can elaborate.

There’s a certain risk in a careful approach- it might not have enough energy for some people. But you are better off not dealing with women who insist on a lot of extroverted behavior.

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3 Responses to Hazards Of A Cold Approach

  1. OneSTDV says:

    That video is pure genius.

  2. Matt Savage says:

    For day time approaches I think it’s obvious that an indirect approach is always the best, but even then you will never be able to absolutely predict how any woman is going to react, so it’s really a crap shoot. However, that being said, in my experience a majority of the women will at least be nice and respectful most of the time, so a long as your opener doesn’t involve being a dick.

  3. unfrozencaveman says:

    “Then, why are you talking to me?” is a perfectly legitimate question, considering the situation. If her tone wasn’t too aggressive, the interaction didn’t need to end yet.

    I would not worry about avoiding bitchy girls.

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