Ridi, Pagliacci!- But, Homey Don’t Play That

March 27, 2010

Seasons Of Tumult And Discord brings us a little culture, with the opera “Pagliacci”-


And here’s a direct link to the video, but without the translation-

Alkibiades is mainly interested in the musical aspect, but I was struck by the pathos of the situation. I had heard of this song before- and you probably have too, since Smokey Robinson refers to it in the old Motown hit “Tears of a Clown.” The title character is a clown in a comedy troupe, and he has learned, just before a performance, that his wife is cheating on him. Still he must put on his clown costume, put on his makeup, and go out and be funny and make people laugh. “Ridi, (laugh) Pagliacci!” he tells himself. The audience has paid money and wants to laugh. He must laugh, even if one of the skits involves another clown stealing his wife. He must laugh, so the audience will laugh.

Self-awareness is a terrible burden. There are people who don’t have it- their inside is their outside, and they don’t edit themselves for others. These people occasionally have a weird charisma, but usually they are inconsequential people in menial positions. The rest of us live in a world that couldn’t give a shit less about our tears and heartbreaks, and wants to see a pleasing exterior. Like I said about layers- one of the layers you need to have is a clown suit and makeup.

There is of course a limit to this. Extending the clown metaphor, you may remember the sketch comedy show “In Living Color” from the early 90’s. Damon Wayans had a character called Homey D. Clown. The joke was always the same- Homey would show up for a performance, then berate the audience for expecting him to engage in degrading antics for their amusement. His tagline was “Homey don’t play that!”

All the world’s a stage, a few of us are handsome leading men or beautiful leading ladies, a few are cold-eyed villains, but frankly most of us are clowns. Sometimes we’ll be Pagliacci, tragically covering the tears with laughter. But then sometimes we’ll be Homey D. Clown, and smack the fools upside the head, and let them know in uncertain terms “Homey don’t play that!”


Are All Women Evil?

March 20, 2010

Virgin At 50 (see blogroll) has been having a hard time of it recently.

When you’re not very experienced, or having a dry spell, female behavior can be infuriating, inexplicable, insensitive and even sadistic. It is indeed often all of these things, and one is often ready to give up.

To answer my own question, no, not all women are evil. Or, to be more precise, all women are at least a little evil; but not all so as to make them not worth the effort.

Game is simply a systemization of dominant, high-status behaviors that all women respond positively to. What level of game a woman will demand to see will vary. Frankly, game is bullshit. The degree of social dominance and status you actually have and what you display via game are two totally different things- one is real, one is an illusion.

A woman who wants to see a high level of game has a high preference for fantasy and interpersonal drama over reality and interpersonal peace. A woman who has a low preference for game values reality and interpersonal intimacy.

The reasons why women enjoy game have been discussed ad nauseum. The brief answer is that more desirable women will want more game, because they can demand it. An attractive woman with a good job has many options and has less financial incentive to seek a “stable” guy. But this relationship is only a weak one- fat, ugly poor women might still want lots of game while a quality woman might not.

Regardless of what all the amateur sociobiologists of the game community say, the entire edifice of civilzation, particularly modern Western civilization, is designed to overcome these biological limitations. A woman who is likely to demand only a reasonable level of game- what might be classified as normal social and dating skills- is simply one who is mentally healthy and has experienced positive, healthy male-female relationships in her family, particularly between her parents.

If you are trying to fuck a woman, batting down her bad behavior en route to getting her legs apart will probably be neessary. If you are trying to establish a good relationship with a woman, all bad behavior must be considered as a potential deal breaker. The time between first meeting and first intercourse should be a time of best behavior for both parties; frankly any woman who “shit tests” you is a dumb bitch.

The best way to deal with bad behavior by a female you are just meeting is to dismiss it, and her. Having a vagina does not excuse behavior that would objectively be considered rude. If it would be considered rude if she did it to somebody else, it’s rude if she does it to you.

Omegas especially, but “gamers” in general, put too much emphasis on getting laid, like it proves you are OK. That’s the Sodini error. Your happiness and self-respect must come first.

Chances are the bitch is not worth it.

Lifestyle Conditions And The Omega

March 19, 2010

Hat tip to Roissy,


a reader of whose posted a link to his blog in the comments to this Slate article, which was deleted-


Ben Stiller seems to be playing the kind of character he often does, a kind of hapless guy, and the article describes other such types in recent movies, using the term “omega male.”

And yet Roosh talks about getting laid while living in his parents’ basement-


(Links are messed up in WordPress. Copy and paste if you give a shit. I’m a- well I’m not going to say what I do for a living, but I’m not an HTML programmer.)

I have to give props to Roosh. The Force is truly with him. This post points the way to victory for the omega male.

It’s all about framing. I have mentioned this before; but it bears repeating. How you tell your story affects how both you and other people feel about it. It is better to be off the totem pole than at the bottom; some wolves lead the pack and set out on their own-


Note the Wikipedia article gives a lot of negative shading to the idea of a person who is independent and not dependent on interacting with others. But independence is a valued masculine trait; the only question is are you really independent.

You must think of yourself, and function in reality as, an independent contractor. As a omega you are probably providing some kind of service, skilled or unskilled. The question is, can you pull up stakes and do the same job elsewhere tomorrow? If you can you are independent; if not you are in reality an omega in your organization.

Beyond job skills and qualifications is your personal financial situation. Do you have any debt? How much savings do you have? Ideally no debt and at least three months of living expenses; probably six is better. If that’s not the case, start paying down debt and saving money now.

Fortunately and age of conspicuous consumption is coming to an end, and frugality is starting to look almost cool. Your modest possessions are testament to your financial conservatism and desire for independence, not lack of resources. And when any “30K millionaire” http://thedirty.com/wtf/ can lease a Lexus or buy a McMansion, these things become pretty meaningless. And by now most of the Lexuses have been repossessed and the McMansions foreclosed on.

Be a lone wolf, a hired gun, a mercenary, make that your choice, and let people know that’s your choice. Don’t be embarrassed, don’t apologize or make excuses. Not everyone will go for it but enough will.

Standing Up For Yourself

March 10, 2010

I’m coming up on the late 40’s, and I often think I’m learning things and experiencing things I should have in my early 20’s or earlier. Once a hillbilly in his 60’s who couldn’t read walked into town, into the library, and said, “I can’t read.” So the librarian arranged for him to learn how to read. They made a TV movie out of the story. I guess it’s better late than never. I admire the guy’s, I don’t think courage is the right word, maybe straightforwardness is better.

I guess he felt the handicap he suffered by not learning to read was worse than the embarrassment and trouble of admitting his ignorance and working to end it at an old age. Maybe that’s part of life, which problem is worse? There is no easy way most of the time; the question is which hard way is better for you.

My boss called me up tonight and wanted me to do something. It was messed up and I wasn’t supposed to be working but I figured I’d gut it out and do it. I was all furiously mad at my boss for being such a dick and such an idiot. I thought about it and realized that from a safety standpoint, it wasn’t really a good idea, and the safety buck stops with me.

So I could either do something dumb, and spend hours and hours being furiously angry at my boss, or I could call him back and tell him I wasn’t going to do it. The second possibility was pretty scary but frankly I’m sick of being angry. I don’t feel like risking a heart attack so I called him and left a message explaining I had changed my mind and why.

He called me back, sans his usual phony I’m-your-buddy act and was pretty pissed. He tried to frame it like I wasn’t ready to work and it was going to cost me a day’s pay. I don’t have a union contract and he can do largely what he wants, so I didn’t argue. The important thing is I did not do something that was really going to piss me off and was unsafe.

I suppose for normal people this all sounds pretty stupid. The concept is simple. There is a great book called “When I Say No, I Feel Guilty” which talks all about how to deal with manipulative pressure. The trouble is manipulative people usually have a lot of moves in their pocket. The first thing my boss did was turn off his cell phone. He had the answer he wanted and he didn’t want to hear anything different so he was ignoring me. (Ignoring is a big manipulative tactic, not covered in the book.) He didn’t call me back until I called a coworker and told him I didn’t want to do it. Then he gets angry at me- also manipulative, also not covered in the book. (I’m just realizing there are significant things the book doesn’t cover, so maybe it’s not that great. Still it’s the only thing like it and a great starting point.)

I am terrified of upsetting people. This is an alcoholic family thing, where the children are responsible for the unstable and easily upset parents. Also if you’re low status lots of people can hurt you so you make a point of not pissing anybody off.

My boss was inconvenienced; he’s not losing any business or money. My coworker was inconvenienced; he has to work longer and get home later, but that’s all. I have the right of saying no sometimes, but I can’t do it too often. Still, I think I did the right thing.

Most of “game”, as far as I can tell, is just asserting yourself in one way or another. Easy to talk about, hard to do, for a lot of us anyway.

Hazards Of A Cold Approach

March 4, 2010

Virgin At 50 tries a cold approach, and gets a nasty response-


A lot of people assume that anyone wearing a dress shirt in a store is an employee, I don’t know why, but when I was an assistant store manager I would go into other places wearing dress slacks, a dress shirt and tie and have people asking me questions all the time. Such attire is worn in many jobs not involving retail sales, but it doesn’t occur to them to look for a name tag. Chalk it up to stupidity.

One of the problems I have with all this PUA stuff is they don’t seem to account for possibilities like this- you try to talk to a woman and she behaves like a raging bitch. A not insignificant portion of the female population is like this.

The other aspect is that a certain portion of the female population is also highly status conscious and will calibrate their reaction to the perceived status of the man involved. These two portions overlap significantly, but not totally, that is some women will be a bitch just because, and others will be a bitch because they see the man as low status.

So it’s quite possible had this woman been approached by an alpha she would have squealed and gone with him to a cheap motel. Bitches be like that. In any case if you are going to make a cold approach you need to be prepared for a bad reaction.

First you need to evaluate your target a little. I think you can look at a woman and tell at a glance whether she is likely to be a bitch or not. Aggressive women will likely have over the top hair, clothes, jewelry, and makeup. Her facial expression and muscle tension will show aggression. If she is Jewish or Italian she is much more likely to be a bitch; less so if she is Asian or Latina. If she is good-looking I think she is less likely to be a bitch. Stereotypes are stereotypes because they are usually true.

There is a whole literature on this, which I am only vaguely familiar with; “The Game” only has one diagram showing body positions, which is not entirely unreasonable because it’s not a manual, but if you are going to talk about how to approach women this is important. Here is a PUA on YouTube who describes physically how to approach, unfortunately he only has this one video-

Key point- don’t approach directly. He says it lowers value, which is certainly true but if you get blown off it is less direct.

So what do you say? A whole routine might work for an experienced guy; but if you are trying to determine if she’s going to be hostile or not something much less is appropriate. I have taken the conversational skills courses, so I know you can either make a comment or ask a question. I also know that the best question is open-ended, that is not a yes or no question.

This is different though; a comment is best, because she can just ignore it, and demonstrate her bitchiness that way. In all fairness nobody has any obligation to talk you; they don’t even have any obligation to be polite. As a matter of social cohesion it is not good to unnecessarily embarrass anyone. The second best option is a yes or no question; she can ignore you, answer yes or no, or if she is really interested in talking she can elaborate.

There’s a certain risk in a careful approach- it might not have enough energy for some people. But you are better off not dealing with women who insist on a lot of extroverted behavior.

Real Or Fake?

March 2, 2010

Roissy brings up the coming of sexbots-


Masturbation, however assisted, is a poor substitute for the real thing. Low cost sex from real women is in any case readily available, for the time being, to First World men- Europeans can go to eastern Europe; North Americans to Latin America; Japanese and Koreans are close to southeast Asia.

Still, the simulation of sex has its uses, most of all as training for the real thing. The Fleshlight (www.fleshlight.com) and associated accessories are great for conditioning to be stimulated properly by the real thing.  A cursory search of the net brings up a few girlfriend simulator programs.

Aircraft simulators are used to train pilots and ship simulators are used to train ship officers because of the expense and hazard of using the real thing to teach people. I believe simulations are being used to train police officers to handle confrontations; again realistic training prior to being in the situation helps avoid tragedy.

The problem with simulators is “validation”- does the simulator actually behave like the real thing? Or close enough to make it valuable, and not actually teach incorrect responses to situations? I would tend to distrust most female simulators; unless it was designed and validated by an alpha with extensive experience it would likely not work. It would be exceedingly complicated because it would have to distinguish between alpha, beta, gamma, and omega, maintain a history of interaction

As it stands, no such training device is available. One has no choice but to get out, interact with women, date them, fuck them, possibly marry and divorce them, to learn. It takes a thick hide and a lot of determination.

Clyde Cessna is an interesting example. He was a skilled mechanic and tinkerer, saw an airplane in the early years of flight, and decided he wanted one. There being few or no aircraft makers or flight schools at that time, he built his own airplane and proceeded to teach himself to fly it. He crashed, rebuilt it, crashed again, fixed it- you see where this is going? His neighbors made fun of him, they thought he was a complete idiot. Which he probably was, in addition to being clinically insane.

But eventually he figured it out, and his company has built thousands of planes. I don’t mean this as a pep talk; such stories usually end with the brave, determined idiot killing himself and ending up on page three of the paper. Unfortunately if you want to become good with women you are going have to get out there and crash and burn a little. It will only feel like you’re dying.

More On Mood Management

March 1, 2010

Things that upset me, piss me off, make me agitated, or otherwise unhappy-

-Reading about politics or current affairs

-Computer problems

-Large crowds of people

-Airports and the TSA, especially if there are large crowds

-Passive-aggressive relationships with women I should have dumped a long time ago

Things I enjoy and make me happy-



-Seeing new places and experiencing new things

I believe I need a lot of novelty and stimulation.

I need to stop reading about politics and current affairs. It just pisses me off. My wisdom for the omega is that he needs to worry about surviving and thriving in his own life, and that thinking about feminism, mens’ rights, or other such topics is pointless. And it is in terms of personal happiness. I have a kind of twisted obsession though, which has to do with my family of origin. I am going to have to work on this.

Things I do to manage my mood that may be counter-productive or ineffective-

-Eating. Years ago I read “Managing Your Mind And Your Mood Through Food” by Judith Wurtman. Essentially she says if you want to feel alert eat protein, and if you want to be relaxed eat carbs or a combination of carbs and protein (to the best of my recollection anyway, read the book.) Eating is constantly discussed as a matter of nutrition, culture, habit and psychology but rarely for its direct physical effect on the mind. Food is a drug; people eat for the taste and the feeling they get afterwards. Fat makes you drowsy; carbs make you calm. Many people need food to relax in the same way others need alcohol or nicotine to relax.

-Coffee. I like to go to coffee places, and the effect is a combination of caffeine, dairy products, whatever I’m reading, and the general calming ambience.

-Jerking off. This has always been a big stress reliever for me, ever since I learned how to do it.

Some better ways I can relax-


-Meditation. I took the Transcendental Meditation course last fall. I have not been consistent with it lately but I definitely think it helps me relax and think better.

-Any productive activity.

I spent waaaayyy too much time on the internet. I don’t really watch TV unless there is something specific I want to see, however in hotel rooms I tend to turn in on just for the noise, even if I’m reading a book or the internet at the same time.

A couple of suicides have been in the national news lately. Depression, of whatever degree, is a chronic problem for the people who suffer from it. I doubt that either drugs or psychotherapy are terribly effective. I suspect one of the best things is simply daily exercise, along with other mood elevating activities.