Obsidian On Anger

Obisdian talks about anger in the game/PUA community-

http://theobsidianfiles.wordpress.com/2010/01/21/to-pickup-with-anger-why-anger-rage-hatred-in-the-pua-community-is-deeply-misguided/

There is a distinction to be made here, however, since this anger is really concentrated in the men’s rights activist (MRA) and “men go their own way” (MGTOW) blogs. These overlap to an extent, to the greatest extent in Roissy, as Obsidian points out.

What you see more of is the sociobiological arguments for game, repeated ad nauseum in many game/PUA venues. To me these are even more angry, cynical, and despairing, even though they are presented with scientific dispassion. Of course there is a lot of truth to these as they describe some basic forces of human nature. But, at the same time, humans are not chimpanzees.

As the saying goes, “don’t hate the player, hate the game.” As I have said if you are on the top of the totem pole you are inclined to think things are just fine, and if you are on the bottom you are inclined to think they are bad and unfair.

Allow me to share. I was in 6th grade, the first few days at a new school. Recess was ending, and for some reason one of two girls yelled something at me, so I yelled something back. They quickly summoned a goon to attack me. I don’t think the goon had any prior relationship with the girls- they were white and he was Mexican, and at that time and place the groups didn’t mix much (not that they do now I imagine.) But they wanted him to hurt somebody for him and he was happy to oblige.

So you have a social system of dominance and aggression by males in which females are invested as it benefits them. People on the top of the system don’t have to worry about random violence for getting out of line or just existing. I’m sure natural alphas all fall in this category. They have social acceptance and approval, have sex at an early age and with  a fair number of women, and would consider reading a book or taking a course on how to be successful with women really dumb. These guys aren’t angry because they have no reason to be.

Lower ranking males will have less ability with women, more restrictive socialization in terms of “appropriate” behavior with women, less experience and more failures. They aren’t failures or losers by any means; but they look at the alphas and envy what they have. These are who you properly call “betas.” And, if there is a lot of anger within the game/PUA community it is here. These guys may apply game and become more successful with women but they never gain the natural ease and sense of superiority natural alphas have and they always resent that.

Guys have two fears about game- that it doesn’t work, in which case it’s a scam, or it does work, in which case much of what they were taught about human nature in general and women in particular was bullshit, and women are really bitches who love assholes. If you have gained the dream of having sex with more women, but lost the dream of having the kind of relationship with a woman your parents and your church taught you, you should have you have probably suffered a net loss.

The overall most frustrated and miserable guys are those at the bottom, who don’t have sex in high school or possibly college. Are they angry? I’m an extremely angry person but I’m only angry at people who have actually screwed me personally. The anger at society in general in the MRA blogs I find pretty pointless and I have said so repeatedly.

To the extent PUAs are angry it’s not really at women, it’s at their station in life. It must be great to be cool, popular, have sex for the first time at 12 and have a lot of sex in high school, while being a star athlete or a standout in some other way. Fate is generous with some. Watching a woman melt for a guy like this hurts. But you can only play the cards you are dealt.

Positive emotions are meant to last for a long time, but negative emotions are meant to be fleeting. They should do their job and leave. Anger is meant to inspire action; to the extent it does that it’s good.

Roissy subtitles his blog “where pretty lies perish.” How do you feel when you realize you’ve been lied to? Angry! But society is built on a certain number of illusions- the truth is harsh and most people can’t handle it. Most people lie to you because they have been lied to themselves and they need to keep the lie going for their own sake. Manfully facing up to the truth as best you can is all you can do.

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4 Responses to Obsidian On Anger

  1. virginat50 says:

    I was a teenager in the 1970’s. That was before the feminist, political correctness, and pseudo self esteem movements had a strong foothold, so I never believed their lies. I grew up expecting that life would be a nasty, brutish, and short fight for survival, status, and dominance.

    Life has met and exceeded those expectations. As a result, although I understand and sympathize with the rage that younger men feel, I don’t experience it in the same way. Women’s reactions to me are more a personal indictment of my losing that fight and less a societal symptom.

    Women don’t desire me because I’m not dominant enough, which is much the same as me not desiring those women who aren’t physically attractive enough.

    • Anon says:

      The difference is that fat/unattractive looking women aren’t perpetually lied to and told to become fat/ugly in order to attract a man. Boys get bombarded from a young age with advice telling them to do exactly the opposite of what they should to be attractive to women. This kind of elaborate systematic deception I find deeply insulting and hurtful. Why on earth are they trying to sabotage us? It’s purely reciprocal for me; if society is going to try and undermine me from the time I’m born then I’m either not going to participate in it or return the favor and work to harm it in any way I can.

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