Some Things I Know About Women

I wanted to title this “Everything I Know About Women” but I don’t know that I can be that comprehensive today. This is the meat of the matter, all else is detail. 

-First- and this is important- women are only worth a certain amount of grief. Game will improve your ability to get sex and female companionship. Your ultimate success will depend a lot on things outside your control, however, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. As an American I am forbidden to say you are not able to accomplish anything without enough effort and belief but I’m saying it anyway. George Sodini’s primary problem was thinking to be a valid, happy human being he needed a woman to love him. 

Hold to the thought that you want it, but you don’t need it, and you will set limits on what you will do to get it. Put your life and well-being first and take relations with women as a confusing and occasionally frustrating but nonetheless enjoyable adventure, like visiting a country where you don’t speak the language. 

Attitude is not everything, but attitude comes first. Now from extremely broad, or actually existential generalities to merely broad generalities. 

-Women are not exactly irrational, it’s more that they function according to their own internal logic, which while logical is fundamentally emotional. Game is an attempt to codify this; as with any rational system of analysis and classification, it will have nuances, exceptions, ambiguities, and even mysteries not captured in the system. You can’t read a book about most things and perform them competently, even highly rational things- you need to read the manual, then work with it. Women will always do things you don’t completely understand, so try to learn from every experience. But don’t sweat it too much. 

-Closely associated with the first item is the General Rule of interaction with females. Relax, take it easy, be interested, friendly, interesting, but not very interested. You can do nothing with a woman if you are tense or worried. You will probably get tense or worried at times, but if you do just remember to relax. 

Why is relaxation important? One, for your own well-being, the most important thing always. Two, because you are never going to know completely what is going on, it is not helpful. Panic, tension, fear, and other unpleasant emotions serve the simple purpose of getting you to either attack a threat or run from it. Neither is often an appropriate response so these emotions are not helpful in these situations. 

Gavin DeBecker wrote that fear comes from what we perceive as the negative outcomes of the situation. He cites the widely noted fear of public speaking, and points out that looking bad in front of our social group threatens us with loss of respect, employment, esteem, and other things we need to survive. So being terribly afraid of public speaking isn’t really that strange; but one should remember if you give a bad speech, even a really bad speech, all people are probably going to think is you gave a bad speech. You might even get sympathy! 

Fear of interacting with women is thus not that strange but the negative consequences of any encounter are not serious. I will talk more about this later. 

-Women will go through a process of evaluating you; it starts from the moment they lay eyes on you and continues until she goes into the bedroom with you. As I have said previously, most of what you need to do is avoid disqualification. As with job interviewing the first, and by far largest, part of the process is to weed out the unsuitable candidates. You need to avoid fucking up, or as Roissy calls it, Fuckup Avoidance Game. This kind of trivialization is why I write this; what seems idiotically obvious to a guy who got laid at 15 is not at all apparent to a 30-year-old virgin. 

What kind of things are you being evaluated on? Or, more to the point, what kind of things will disqualify you? Again it’s similar to job interviewing. Dress appropriately. Engage in polite small talk as appropriate. Show good behavior with service personnel- the receptionist when you go for a job interview, the waitress on a date. A side note- the concept of social proof applies to any human interaction you have that a woman sees. At a minimum you need to be polite with everyone, especially service personnel; better if they respond positively to you, and it’s great if you can get a laugh. Friendly, joking small talk is generally welcomed because their jobs are boring and most people just want their needs met and show little or no interest in them. You should be interesting but not controversial, show that you have friends and social activities, are not a hermit, have some interesting hobbies, and get along with your family. 

It is important to remember she will proceed at the pace she is comfortable with. She will give you her phone number if and when she feels comfortable; will have coffee with you, go to lunch or dinner with you, go back to your place or her place with you, all at her pace. As long as she accepts dates with you you have not disqualified yourself, or she has not disqualified you. 

A couple of things occur to me. One, things you do to be attractive and interesting to women- being in decent shape, wearing nice clothing, being employed and living in a decent place, having some social activities, interesting hobbies, and having a civil relationship with your family, are things you should do anyway, for your own benefit, and not for women at all. Two, omegas tend to dislike social interaction, often with good reason, however this leads to not being regularly practiced at interacting with people, being a hermit, and having interests that are not commonly shared and may seem strange to the average person. 

-Women will give you signals as to what they want and are ready for. Body language is a simplistic way of describing it. It’s more her overall demeanor. including things like level of muscle tension, tone of voice, degree of closeness to you, and other non-verbal forms of communication. This is the real language of women. I can’t tell you how to read it because I’m at a pretty low level myself. 

-The times I have made progress with women was when I had the time and money to devote to it. You really need both. If you have time but no money, you can spend a lot of time practicing basic interaction and preliminary dating but when she finds out you are unemployed, broke and living with your mother she is going to lose interest. If you are in this situation definitely get as many coffee dates as you can though. If you have a job with insane hours you may have money but you won’t have time, so get a job with better work/life balance. 

I will assume you are doing the best you can to stay employed and make money. The other time issue is time wasters like the internet and video games. These are fine- you need to do things you enjoy, even if they aren’t cool and won’t get you laid- but you need limit the time spent on things like this and increase the amount spent on improving your life and your interactions with women. Make no mistake, this is very time-consuming. The more phone numbers you get, the more dates you go on, and the more women you have sex with, the better you will get.  

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5 Responses to Some Things I Know About Women

  1. Bob Smith says:

    As long as she accepts dates with you you have not disqualified yourself, or she has not disqualified you.

    This isn’t, strictly speaking, true. Unlike men, most women are used to living a lifestyle that exceeds their means. Quite a few women take that as an obligation owed them for being women, rather than something nice a specific man does for a specific woman, and will happily mooch off a guy she has no intention of going further with so long as he isn’t grossly offensive. She runs the chance somebody will see her in public with him, so he can’t have any visibly obvious disqualifying characteristics, like being short, that she might have to explain away later.

    • I won’t say this doesn’t happen, but I don’t think it is that common. This is more likely to happen with a beta with money- the inducement isn’t needed for an alpha and the inducement isn’t enough for an omega.

      Expensive dates should however be an occasional treat for a woman you have already had sex with. This holds true at any income level and any relationship length.

  2. krauserpua says:

    Video games. I love ’em:

    1) Play video games all day = Omega
    2) Go out sarging, come home and play video games = a reward for work done

  3. Susan Walsh says:

    When writing for women about how to meet new (good) men, I have used a soccer metaphor. It’s all about how many times you touch the ball. The more touches you have, the more likely you are to initiate, and complete a pass.

    What’s most important is to get out of your room. Get out and about every single day. Maximize the number of human interactions you have. Make eye contact with people. Three seconds is the magic number – if someone holds eye contact for three seconds, they are attracted. When that happens, smile. Be nice to strangers. Make small social gestures. Say good morning to people. Become a regular – it’s much easier to say a few words to someone if you’ve been seeing them every morning at Starbucks, and you recognize one another.

    Another thing I’ve recommended is falling in love with three people each day. I know this sounds preposterous, but the idea is that we tend to be oblivious to others. Falling in love is an exaggeration, but try to look at the women you encounter with an open heart. When I started paying attention in this way, I began to see the attractive qualities in people I would ordinarily not even bother to observe. The cute guy at the market, the nice service rep at the car dealership, the man who checks out my books at the library.

    If you can practice these behaviors every single day, you will begin to feel as though you are more connected to people in general. Spontaneous conversation may occur. Opportunities to be generous will present themselves. It’s hard work, relentless effort is required. Keep your expectations low at first, this is subtle, day Game. But these are the building blocks of human connection. It’s all a question of practice.

  4. […] Omega Man – “Some Things I Know About Women” […]

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