Male Status Rankings Spoofed On “The Onion”

I love “The Onion.” All kinds of funny shit on there, I have it on RSS feed.

The constant use of the terms “alpha” and “beta” seems to have seeped out into the culture in general. Here a number 3 guy is described as a “gamma” male, which is of course strictly speaking correct, since “gamma” is the third letter of the Greek alphabet-

Why game writers always use the term “beta” to describe any behavior they find submissive I don’t understand. Submissive behavior is in itself quite normal and functional most of the time. And for that matter I’m not sure that “alpha” is the best way to describe the kind of behavior that attracts women, since maintaining position on top of a social hierarchy and attracting women aren’t really the same thing. But that’s pretty nerdy of me- outside of animal behavior, the term “alpha male” just means a cool guy.

Many people would envy this guy’s position. After all #3 isn’t too bad, depending on how many there are of course.

Maintaining any kind of position in a social hierarchy is a waste of time unless you’re close to the top. What you need to be is a lone wolf.


3 Responses to Male Status Rankings Spoofed On “The Onion”

  1. Talleyrand says:

    Beta behavior is functional . . . most of the time.

    A thriving culture rewards Beta behavior and controls alpha behavior. Our culture doesn’t do that.

    Submissive behavior is not attractive in men, which is why it is called beta.

  2. jmkaye says:

    I find the jargon pretty annoying, myself. But that’s because I’m a bit of a language purist.

    To me, an alpha male will always be a man who has risen to a position of authority over other men. He does not necessarily score with a lot of women, in fact he his usually married, with maybe a mistress on the side.

    A beta male is someone in a subordinate position, and it’s been my observation that these guys are usually the ones with the most active sex lives. Probably because they actually have the time to go out and socialize, instead of spending all their time and energy advancing their careers.

  3. kalushkin says:

    But wolves are pack animals. A lone wolf in the animal kingdom is a dead wolf.

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