Let’s Talk About Sex!

I think my anonymity is pretty well protected here- and I want to be as informative as possible, so I’ll share even more unflattering personal information about myself. Remember- this is for educational purposes only, so if you can benefit from it, or know someone who can, great. If you want to point and laugh, well that’s just rude. But I’ll take that chance.

I got laid last night! Woohoo! Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while, as the rustic saying goes. That’s the good news. The bad news is it didn’t go to well.

The hookup was made via Craigslist. She was looking for a guy with size to rock her world at a neutral location, and I assured her I was the man for the job. She was very pretty and nice. We talked a little and got down to business.

A word on Viagra, or other drugs for erectile dysfunction. I have used them for performance anxiety, or maybe just sexual anxiety in general- I can get an erection alone, but with a woman I often have trouble. I suspect most of these drugs are sold for this, rather than complete ED. Young guys take them to enhance the experience, older guys take them for a little help. They are easily obtained online or from your physician. But– if you have a lot of anxiety, or a lot of repulsion they won’t do anything, or at least Viagra won’t. I met a woman a while back, 50’s but looked OK with her clothes on, although she was a little fat. When I got a closer look at her it turned out she was completely wrecked from having a lot of kids and I was really turned off. 50mg of Viagra and I couldn’t get anything going. I backed off and left after a while. It will give you a nasty headache though. I plan on trying Cialis, which may have less tendency to give headaches, and I’ll report the results.

I pulled off her skirt and got a big whiff of shit- she had either just farted or hadn’t wiped herself very well the last time she took a dump. That’s something you don’t get in all the porno- sex is actually pretty messy and involves getting close with places not always ideally clean. The smell didn’t linger so either she had farted or I tuned it out, I’m not sure which.

All the foreplay went very well. I had taken a quarter of a 100mg Viagra to help things along and seemed to be getting a good erection.  Then came time to put the condom on- I hate condoms, they are the death of sex, but a universally accepted precaution. I lose most of the erection.

I toss off the condom and we just keep fooling around. My erection returns. Eventually she gets on top of me and rubs her labia on my erect penis, and she seemed to be satisfied with that. Then I got on top of her and fucked her a bit sans condom- probably not a good idea, but we were in the heat of passion.

Eventually we stopped and just cuddled. I was thinking how we were going to wrap this up and finally she said she was getting sleepy and didn’t want to fall asleep there, so we got dressed and left.

I’m afraid I disappointed her, and one of the codependent leftovers of my childhood is I hate to disappoint people- especially women in bed. Here’s something that you don’t see discussed much- good sexual functioning requires that you do it on a regular basis. If you have not had sex before, you will likely have trouble with it, and if you have not had sex in a long time, you will have trouble with it. A guy I met once, a virgin in his mid 20’s, told me how he went to a hooker but couldn’t get it up. The hooker commented the married guys never had trouble, but the single guys often did.

Masturbation is not the same as intercourse and to some extent will interfere with your ability to fuck. So I’m going to have to lay off the jerking off, with no guarantee of when I’m going to have a chance to fuck.

It also depends on the situation. I have had hookers tell me after 40 minutes of good pounding they can’t take it anymore- sometimes with Viagra I can maintain a good erection with a condom on, but have great difficulty reaching orgasm.

Women like guys who are already getting lots of sex because they know the guy is in practice and they are going to have a good experience. Do they know this intuitively, or from experience? Either way they know.

Part of performance anxiety is “Oh crap, I have put so much effort into this woman, for so long, and I really like her, and now THIS!” But actually I wasn’t too worried about it. This has happened to me before, I knew it was some combination of lack of recent experience and anxiety, and I didn’t have much invested- I met her on Craigslist, I hadn’t spent any time or money on her, and if I didn’t see her again I might be disappointed but it was no big deal.

As Mike Brady would say, “I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson!” One, get as much sex as you can, from whoever you can, because you need all the practice and recent experience you can get. Two, back off the masturbation, and when you do try to make it as much like intercourse as possible.


6 Responses to Let’s Talk About Sex!

  1. Wilbur Simonson says:

    There are many anecdotal reports online about men who frequently masturbate having difficulty getting an erection, maintaining an erection, or ejaculating from sex, even though they have no trouble when alone. There’s very little in the medical literature about this phenomenon, probably because it’s only recently that the hookup culture and the rising age of first marriage has resulted in large numbers of men spending the majority of their youth involuntarily celibate.

    It’s tragic that males reach puberty at an early age (9-14 typically) and then wait years or decades for sex, only to have it be a bad experience when they finally/occasionally get it. They have likely masturbated thousands or tens of thousands of times with far more friction and pressure than they would ever experience during sex, especially with a condom. When they finally have sex, it’s a new and different experience, they have anxiety, and they can’t feel much of anything through the condom.

  2. Prime says:

    First, thanks for sharing. These kind of posts are the ones I like to read. Maybe I’ll open up more in the future. But yeah, in general, masturbating a certain way, as Wilbur said above, with “more friction and pressure than they would ever experience during sex” will spoil the pussy experience, but only if the chick is older or “looser”. And bad skin and shit smells turn off the libido like a switch (for normal people who aren’t fetishists or who do not like to lick dirty asses).

    But you can masturbate a certain way which will maximize control of your orgasm which has a lot to do with basically keeping yourself calm thru breath control, i.e. tantra. Using lube and giving yourself an hour or so, imagine unique scenarios with particular women or types of women, nothing too sick that’s on the internet. OR, just get a kinda desperate girlfriend (at least 2 or 3 yrs younger) to have regular sex with while you are still playing on the side.

  3. xxx says:

    hei man, here is an idea for you:
    why’d you think she was dissapointed instead of you are dissapointed by HER PRESTATION in bed.

  4. xxx says:

    be afraid SHE dissapointed YOU!!!

  5. Candice says:

    Thanks for sharing – I’ve written a post which I linked to your post. As you know, I don’t do hook up sex – however, it’s quite relevant understanding a man’s perspective on first time sex.

    Something that might be of use – some lingerie is shaping and pretty and can hide figure faults while still allowing sex to happen. There are ways around lack of tightness of the vagina as well ….

    An interesting point – in contrast to what you indicate for men, masturbation by ladies only enhances their ability to have sex. It’s a good learning experience when young and helps keep things working when older.

    🙂 C

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