If I get one point across in my drunken barstool rantings I hope it’s that you have to deal with the world as it is, not as you wish it was. People with resources can afford some illusions, but those with low status cannot.
The horrors of divorce are a commone topic in the mens’ issues blogosphere. The rotten, evil injustice of it all is decried daily. It’s all true, and it’s all pretty bad. And yet no one who has gotten married since the 70’s has not known what the deal was and how it works. Unless you are a hermit (which will include some omegas, but they aren’t at risk of getting married) you will also know married people, divorced people, and how their lives go.
I suspect many guys get married with a lot of trepidation, seeing the potential for problems but hoping things will somehow work out. They have been with the woman awhile, don’t see the possibility of a better one, don’t want to be alone, and “take the plunge” with the hope it will get easier and things will smooth out later.
There are an array of bad choices, and this could lead to a mildly bad result or a disaster. In my experience things always work out worse than you expect and worse than you hope. Starting out with serious doubts practically guarantees a bad outcome.
The guys who complain endlessly about marriage are likely the ones who made a bad decision, and knew they were making a bad decision. The often repeated advice “Don’t get married!” would probably be better stated “Don’t get married unless both you and your potential spouse are mature, mentally healthy, have a stable, positive relationship with little conflict and are not crossing your fingers.”
Not getting married is a good option, but it is not the only option. If you have a healthy relationship (notice I did not say “good” relationship) you may get divorced but it won’t be extremely emotional or traumatic.
My special, high intensity training has ended but now I’m on the road with sporadic internet access so it will take me a while to catch up. I still have plenty to say though.