Everybody who sells products and services of this type claims to have a unique system that he personally developed and used to greatly increase his success with women. I contend that generally they have only taken things that fit their life and personality and called it a system. What worked for one guy may have universal application, or it may work just for that one guy.
I’ll start with the original, R. Don Steele, recently notorious as the guru of George Sodini, notorious in the 90’s as nemesis of Ross Jeffries. He is not thought of as a practitioner of game, and is dismissed by many who are, but he is the earliest promoter of a detailed system. The godfather of all is Eric Weber; but his book pretty much amounts to “just talk to girls, say anything” and does not belong to the modern era of this phenomenon.
Steele’s original book is entitled “How To Date Young Women For Men Over 35.” Note the specificity of the title; the content is even more specific. The advice is for a divorced man in his 40’s who has no trouble dating women his own age, is fairly affluent, does not want to get married again, and does not want to have a girlfriend. This man does not even expect the young woman in question to be exclusive to him; it is understood she will have a boyfriend or date men her own age as well. This man, in other words, is just like Steele. At least, he is honest; he did everything he advises the reader to do. So if you’re like Steele- an affluent, handsome, middle-aged corporate executive with more than one marriage and numerous relationships under your belt- you can do what Steele did, which is date waitresses. There is not much earth-shattering there.
But what if you aren’t like Steele? What if you’re like George Sodini? You may have trouble getting concrete results.
The man Steele hates more than any other- Ross Jeffries- is another story. Jeffries seems to like to promote himself as a hopeless nerd who would never have gotten anywhere with women if not for his incredible discovery of and application of Neuro-Linguistic Programming to attracting women. He certainly looks the part, a skinny and goofy looking guy. There is not, however, a bashful, shy, timid, or anxious bone in his body. He is an aggressive and tireless self-promoter who will talk to anyone without the least reticence. He is said to be a comedy writer, and I suspect he has performed stand-up, although if he had I doubt he would mention it as it wouldn’t fit with his desired image.
An aggressive, fearless person who will talk to anybody without the least hesitation is not going to have trouble talking to women. If he can display a bit of charm and sense of humor in the process some of them will like him. If this describes you, you may benefit from Ross Jeffries’ material but you are unlikely to think you need it.
Mystery is the most famous of the PUA gurus. Everybody knows he is a magician, which is to say a performer, which is to say somebody who has gotten the knack of getting and keeping peoples’ attention. Sound like a guy who will be able to pick up women? Sans any method or system, whether imparted by seminar, book, or DVD? Indeed. A couple of other things- in “The Game”, Neil Strauss describes him as “beating out” a magic trick from a classmate at age 12. Whether this is meant literally or not I’m not sure, but it shows social dominance. Strauss also mentions several times Mystery’s difficult relationship with his father. At the end of the book, Mystery’s mother said her husband had a very dominant, charismatic personality, which Mystery shared, and says that was the source of their conflict.
Again, we see a guy who does something well-suited to himself, and easy for him to do. Can you do it? Maybe, maybe not.
I imagine the #1 problem guys have with all this is approach anxiety. How do you overcome that? This has to be especially bad for omegas. I don’t see a lot of examples of people really overcoming approach anxiety. I haven’t seen many examples of guys who don’t have approach anxiety getting laid with women who would not likely have slept with them anyway.
So is this stuff any good at all? I don’t know. I don’t sell any books or DVDs or conduct any seminars. I’m only interested in finding out what works for guys who really need help, myself included.