Sex Emergency- The Advanced Age Virgin

There is a lot of social value placed on sexual activity. If you are not sexually active it’s assumed you are psychologically or socially abnormal, thus assuring you will remain sexually inactive. It’s a cruel paradox.

Let me reassure you there is nothing wrong with you. You have not had the opportunity to have experiences most people have had. When you do it won’t change your life, except you won’t obsess about being a virgin anymore. Still you are eager for the experience but may have a few things to deal with beforehand.

You may come from a very sexually repressed background, probably religious. If this is the case try to remember sex is a simple bodily function engaged by billions of humans, often under circumstances proscribed by religion, often not. Your parents probably don’t want you engaging in sex outside of marriage but hopefully they love you and want you to be happy, even if their beliefs are not functional in the modern world. Same thing with God. Do what you need to do and you will be able to find a nice girl and get married and do the rest of your sex under sanction.

You may also be highly introverted, and deeply dislike meeting and talking to strange people. It’s unlikely you can become an extrovert but with practice you can become reasonably comfortable talking to new people even if it isn’t your favorite activity.

If you have a lot of fear around being with a woman you can go to a sex therapist, who may have you work with a sex surrogate, a woman who will help you with physical and sexual contact. A surrogate is not a prostitute and the experience will be more educational than erotic. But when you finally get a woman naked you will be more relaxed and know what to do.

Or, you could just go to a prostitute. Admittedly there are a variety of problems with this. One it’s illegal. Picking up street walker is a good way to get busted. Cops run stings on Craigslist as well. If you go through an escort service and follow the expected procedures it’s unlikely you will have a problem. (This information is easily available online.) Some prostitutes work under compulsion- again if you go through a service, and get an American woman you will likely avoid this. An Asian or Russian woman may be a victim of organized crime. Being an advanced age virgin sucks but it doesn’t suck nearly as much as being forced to have sex- try to avoid making anybody’s life worse. Prostitution is legal in Canada and Mexico, so if you live close to the border maybe a trip is an option. A prostitute is not going to care much if you are freaked out, can’t get it up or are really nervous, she has seen everything and doesn’t really care.

Your goal is to date and have sex with your own woman, but getting some study and practice in beforehand may help.

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2 Responses to Sex Emergency- The Advanced Age Virgin

  1. sestamibi says:

    I agree, especially if one is somewhat far beyond the typical age of loss of virginity (17-23 for most men).

    I was 27, she was 26. Both of us for the first time at the same time (so she said, and being a rather timid sort, she gave me no reason to believe otherwise). She lived in my apartment building and decided I was going to be her boyfriend. She was a very kind and gentle person, and I really fell in love with her, but her frequent illnesses suggested that it wouldn’t last the long haul, and it didn’t.

    I was always too embarrassed before her to admit my virgin status, and of course never mentioned afterward that it took me that long. Still, I was pretty transparent insofar as social proof was concerned. I went to a political event solo a few months later and mentioned her to someone I met there, who said “YOU have a girlfriend??” Even today as a married man of 12 years standing, I KNOW the women in my office are snickering privately “Good grief, who would be desperate enough to marry HIM?”

    One last point: prostitution is indeed illegal almost everywhere in the US, but not in the county in Nevada where I live. It’s not cheap, but if you are as clumsy as I was and simply don’t want to die a virgin, it might be worth the trip and the price.

  2. Candice says:

    This virgin stuff is totally over rated – its best just to relax and get on with it!

    Personally, if I found a man I was really in love with and attracted to, and had ascertained he was functional, then I’d not have any issue with going slowly and working things out together. I think most guys like to progress a sexual relationship far too fast – so someone who needed to take things slowly as well would be compatible. Therefore, don’t have this thing that all women are after experienced men!

    Another point, sex is not rocket science. My strategy was to read as much as I could, learn as much as I could and then take things slowly. After a bit instincts take over and you are fine.

    ALSO, everybody is still learning about sex. I meet men in their 50s and 60s that are still learning. Therefore, its fine to not know everything!

    Feel better?

    🙂 Candice

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