Foreign Women

One solution often floated for getting a better deal with women is to find a foreign woman and bring her to the US (or other first world country.)

I have made a number of trips to Latin America for the purpose of meeting women. I have had ongoing relationships with several. I think I can make a reasonable analysis of this process.

Caveat- my experiences only apply to Latin America, or more specifically, Colombia. From reading the foreign marriage boards it seems scams are more common with Russian (or as they say former Soviet Union or FSU) and Philippines women. Other Asian countries I can’t speak to; Thailand seems to be bad with scams.

(Side note- my careful qualification is the action of a lower status male, who is called to the table to provide accurate information to the higher status, who are there to advocate for their agendas, which they will do without careful qualification. However I’m trying to help here so accuracy is important.)

Your risk of getting a really bad deal, as long as you are intelligent and reasonably careful, is low. “Gasolineras” want a guy to take them to nice restaurants; others are looking for a guy to send them money on a regular basis. They will ask for relatively small amounts, $100 to $200; still this is a lot of money to them and if they can get multiple guys to do this they can make a nice living without much work. Women who want visas are pretty obvious. I have been told, point-blank, “I need a visa.” Others will give you the impression a little more subtly. I spent a long day of driving around with one woman, and we were having a drink. I thought I had made it clear, but at this point she realized that while I’m a US citizen, I was not actually living there at the time. Her face and body just collapsed.

Aren’t they all scammers? No, because in Latin America we have a strong version of the alpha social domination- de facto polygamy. Any guy who can afford it will have a woman on the side with whom he will have a kid. Poorer guys just go to whores, who are plentiful and cheap. A humble guy with a decent job who is not going to screw around on her is a good deal for many women from there.

So, with time and patience you can find a woman who really does want to be your wife in the first world. But- and this is a really big but- you will still have the relationship problems you would have with a domestic woman. You have bypassed the need for other kinds of game, but you still need relationship game.

When I say time and patience I mean it. You can’t go down there for a week and come back with a fiancée. Or you can, but it would be dumb. You will have to meet a lot of women, and after having gotten to know her you will need to visit her a few times. This all takes vacation time and money. Depending on where you live in the US you may be able to make weekend trips. I think it’s better to spend at least a week though, because you need time for the initial niceness to break down. For this reason Asia is hard, because it’s far. Eastern Europe is easily accessed from the UK and Western Europe; that may be why there are more scammers there.

I’ll talk about this more in the future; but the important point is this is not an end run around psychological health and relationship skills.

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2 Responses to Foreign Women

  1. Wilbur Simonson says:

    I know some guys who went to Russia or the Phillipines for a week or two, came back engaged, and got married. It seemed to work for them, so I gave it a try.

    I went to Russia for 10 days, but I couldn’t find a woman, fall in love, and decide to get married in such a short time. I didn’t have enough money or vacation to go back repeatedly.

    When reading profiles on foreign bride sites, I’m always struck by the dramatic difference from profiles of American women on match and plentyoffish.

    The foreign bride profiles often include clear head-to-toe photos of women wearing attractive clothing that fits them. The text is concise and rarely contains criteria that would disqualify men. The American women profiles contain lengthy text full of negativity and exacting, eccentric requirements. If they have a photo, it is often a fuzzy face-only photo, or a head-to-toe photo showing unattractive, ill-fitting clothing.

    In short, the foreign bride profiles appear to be designed to attract as many men as possible while the American women profiles appear to be designed to repel and disqualify as many men as possible. I enjoy browsing the foreign bride sites while match and plenyoffish are depressing.

    I’m tempted to believe that the foreign women are better. But, it could be that the foreign bride site owner is enforcing a profile style that the women would not use if left to their own choice. The foreign bride sites are funded by male customers who are scarce while match and plentyoffish are funded by both men and women or from advertising revenue, and men are abundant.

  2. Candice says:

    Interesting insights – thank you for sharing! 🙂 C

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