Self Help And Professional Help

As dog people know, the runt of the litter is going to have problems. What might he do to feel better, improve his functioning and quality of life?

The self-help industry specializes in blowing sunshine up peoples’ butts, largely for people who want that. I feel sorry for people who really want and need help and try to get it and instead get New Age garbage. I don’t have much by the way of answers, but I will recommend some things that have been at least a little helpful to me.

I don’t know your personal experience, but I will guess it includes bad experiences with your family, bad experiences at school and with peers, and possibly bad experiences as an adult.

Susan Forward wrote a book called “Toxic Parents” which is good for going over family relationships.

Daniel Sonkin wrote a book called “Wounded Boys, Heroic Men” which is great for issues of child abuse.

A VA psychologist named Aphrodite Matsakis wrote an excellent book called “I Can’t Get Over It- A Handbook For Trauma Survivors.” If you have had bad experiences with violence, this may be helpful. The exercises are not easy to do but worth the effort.

I have gone to psychotherapists various times. My feeling is that they are helpful for getting stuff of your chest and relieving intense emotions but are not really helpful over the long-term. You can talk to somebody about your problems, you will feel better, but you will still have the same problems. I’m not saying don’t go- by all means go, it may help you get over some very rough spots and avoid destructive behavior, but longer term you have to find your own solutions.

Learn to deal with your problems in a practical way. Accept the fact your life is different, and enjoy it on your own terms in whatever way you can. Don’t accept other peoples’ negative judgments of you.


2 Responses to Self Help And Professional Help

  1. sestamibi says:


    Try using tinyurl for long links.

    • Oh, so you’re one of those tiny url nazis. Well, maybe I will, and maybe I won’t. This is my m*****f****** blog and I’ll what I damn well please!

      Just kidding- it can be dangerous to corner an omega or a possum on his own turf 🙂

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