Penguin Boy

Long ago- before the web, I haven’t been able to find any reference to it- “60 Minutes” did a piece on carnival freaks. One person they interviewed was an old man, maybe 60’s or 70’s. He was a midget, which is to say a “little person” as they are now called whose body parts are proportionate. He had hands and feet, but no arms or legs, if you can picture that.

He appeared as “Penguin Boy” and he would come out and light a cigarette and do other stuff. He said “It wasn’t what I wanted for my life but there weren’t other options back then.”

The interviewer- Morley Safer I think- then asked him, in that pseudo-thoughtful and vaguely accusatory tone that marks every “60 Minutes” interview- “Are you a freak?” The man answered indignantly, “I am not a freak. I am a handicapped person.”

I am not a freak. I am a handicapped person.

Roosh had a bit recently on how many notches you need, as he puts it, or just how much experience you need, as you might more euphemistically put it. On one level, meeting to sex is a complete courtship, however brief. But if the woman is inclined to casual sex it may only mean you qualified for that. And you don’t necessarily have to have sex with a woman to learn a lot from her.

All that considered, you need a certain amount of experience with women to understand what’s what. But like with jobs, if you don’t have experience you can’t get a job, and if you can’t get a job you can’t get experience. It is very difficult for men with a certain set of handicaps to get experience, and due to loneliness they tend to want to have relationships rather than experience a number of women, so they tend to settle down with the first non-repulsive woman who will have them. This isn’t necessarily the best thing to do or the best kind of experience, although a lot of learning about women is having relationships.

I am still pretty distraught about my first foreign girlfriend. I really wanted it to work out with her. The story is pretty awful but the short version, the best I can figure it out is she expressed a lot of anger towards me and I just couldn’t deal with it. Maybe someday I will try to write it all down here.

I’m in the process of getting a visa for my second, current foreign girlfriend. We have a certain amount of problems but this is my last chance and all in all she is a good person and I think it can work out. My job situation is pretty grim- I have a job but the conditions are very bad. I’m hoping I can straighten things out in the next month or so.

I have had a certain amount of experience with women, but not enough to be confident wnat’s what. But how the hell was I ever supposed to be normal? I’m better off than my brother and sister, which is not saying much. They have never had sex, and my sister had one boyfriend. My brother, nothing ever as far as I can tell. My parents were pretty messed up people who probably should never have had kids. Maybe one, but my brother as the oldest got a lot of the privileges of an only child and he is possibly the least psychologically normal of the bunch.

I tell myself all the time I am doing the best I can, and have always done the best I could under the circumstances. It’s a pretty cold comfort.

4 Responses to Penguin Boy

  1. Carlos Santoro says:

    Getting a visa for your current girlfriend? What’s the point when you already know that you won’t learn anything while being stuck in a relationship? Why not keep pushing yourself over your limiting beliefs and master the art of seduction?

  2. Ambiance says:

    Are you at least physically “normal”? If you’re pretty normal physically and just have no confidence, can you try blasting out 100 match.com Emails and see what you get? If you’re unable to get anything, have your friends write Emails for you so you can go on 5 first dates for “experience”?

  3. Omega_Dork says:

    Actually what the PC term “little people” refers to are dwarves. Midgets are extremely rare — I’ve only see photos of them. Every one of the “little people” you see on TV and in movies are dwarves.

  4. Shelly says:

    Hmm, what to say to penguin boy? Let me first say that I was in an abusive marriage to the point of being raped repeatedly by him for 20ys, after being raped as a teen and molested at 6yo. Both my parents second marriages were to abusive alcoholics and they tormented me from age 6-16. Why do I tell you this? Because no matter WHAT you look like, you are a human being, and if YOU don’t own it and love yourself, NO ONE else will/can. PERIOD. There is something about a smile that lets your inner spirit shine and changes the energy instantly between you and what ever it is that surrounds you.

    I have herpes, thanks to an ex in my teens, and I believed my husband that if I left him, no one else would want me. I am also “fat” as I have been reading you “omega’s” call us. I’m a size 16 at 5’2”. And with all that going “against” me, I not only found MANY men willing to sleep with me in my “hit and run” days of last summer, including some SUPER hot cougar cubs, but have found several men wanting relationships with me, and I am currently in one with a man whom I care deeply for, but will likely be leaving him soon. And the reason is…..his lack of confidence. I am on a journey where my growth is far exceeding his, and he is beginning to hold me back and/or cause me discomfort. With all I have gained in the last year, I can’t let one man tear me back down.

    I agree that dating 2 levels below you might build your confidence, as it did mine in the beginning of my single life a year ago….however….if your mind set is that you are better than them and they are “inferior” to you as one reply put it…..the girl will feel that and reject you. Sorry, but if you view someone as a “sport” even if you have good intentions for your own well being, how is that fair to the other person? And what makes you think they wouldn’t feel it? How would YOU like for a woman 2 levels above YOU, approach you simply for the purpose of lifting her own ego by hitting and quitting a DORK.

    My honest to goodness advice is to for god sakes be your self. SMILE, and treat a woman as a HUMAN BEING, not a notch in your barstool to help you get a better woman down the road. When you degrade and devalue another human being, it says more about you than it does about them. All these “alpha male” programs out there today, while great at teaching confidence, they degrade women. We are NOT your fucking play toys.

    Also, try learning more about interpersonal relationships, than trying to learn how to “bag a babe”. Gary chapman has the 5 love languages, Dr. Paul Dobransky has some good stuff about boundaries and personality traits (king/lover/magician/warrior) (also some male empowerment stuff too, but could be PUA stuff, I don’t know). Both websites have free quizzes you can take to discover more about YOU and how YOU relate to the world. These professionals and many others can help you learn about YOU, so you can become more desireable as a whole human, not a deflated wimp. So your parents fucked you up. Somehow we all got fucked over by our parents. At some point you have to look in the mirror and FIX it yourself. Smile, Laugh, and Love and someone WILL join you. I promise. It’s what I am doing and at 43 I am loving life, my journey, my growth and my self. The more you know, the more you grow.

    And just an FYI, many “fat” chicks are AMAZING in bed and usually far better LOVERS than the average barbiedoll. I am sexually agressive and can smell the “low self esteem predator” a mile away. When you think we are all “stupid” it shows just how “stupid” YOU are.

    Good luck Omega Man, I wish you well

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