Fat Women And The Omega

Obsidian asks why fat women get so much hate in the game community-

http://theobsidianfiles.wordpress.com/2009/12/25/why-do-plus-sized-women-get-so-much-hate-in-the-game-community/

My response was the negativity was not so much specifically directed at fat women as women in general, who do not behave as men would like them to. One thing men hope for from women is that they will maintain slim figures; a fat women is, at a glance, not doing that, and thus not behaving as a man would like her to. Her failure to conform to expectations is not necessarily worse than other kinds- such as being a bitch, lacking interest in or at least tolerance for male hobbies, unwillingness to engage in sex, or kinky sex, or sex of the frequency desired by a man, it is just more obvious.

The “game ” community overlaps to a great deal with the “mens’ rights” community, which is involved in protesting the bad treatment of men by the courts in divorce. These things should not, however, because they are two different things with completely different goals.

Imagine, if you will- as Rod Serling might say- a car salesman, involved in the business of selling used Toyotas. All that matters, as far as his immediate and personal well-being, is that he successfully sell used Toyotas. Time and energy spent complaining about how people won’t buy used Toyotas is completely wasted, beyond the somewhat self-destructive effect of temporarily making him feel better. He may see a young guy with a goatee come on the lot, and try to sell him a car. This guy is not a good prospect, so he leaves. He then sees and older woman, plainly dressed, or maybe a young woman of modest means with a child in tow. He stresses the reliability and reasonable cost of the vehicle, and she makes the purchase. Some people will buy used Toyotas, and some won’t. Commiserating in the break room over bad coffee with your fellow used Toyota salesmen about all the lousy lookie-lous who won’t buy won’t put any money in your pocket.

OK, we are only concerned here with what women do, not how we feel about it. Here’s another twist to it- a guy approaches a fat woman, maybe in a bar, maybe at a church picnic, and gets shot down. His pain is much worse than if she had been hot. After all, hot women are in demand, right? They get lots of offers, and are expected to be picky. Even if you don’t think your odds are good, you’ll go for it anyway, because she may be receptive that day or moment, and you might get lucky. If you go after a fat woman, on the other hand, you expect her to be receptive, because she does not have as many options. If she rejects you, it’s a double slap in the face- not only you don’t get what you want, she is telling you that you aren’t good enough for her.

Fat women, or other low desirability women, are in a difficult position. They have egos like anybody else. They like to think of themselves as desirable like anybody else. When a low desirability guy approaches, she is being reminded of her low status. If she accepts him, she ratifies her low status. If she rejects him, she confirms for herself that she is higher in dating status than he is.

Another ugly twist- the twists never end with this, do they? We’re talking about the highly valued and elusive bearded clam here. This shy, reclusive, and yet very tasty creature does not give itself up to the hunter easily. Should you want to gorge yourself on heaping servings of this delicacy, without getting various appendages rudely and painfully crushed in its hard shell, you must learn its many twists. The next ugly twist is when a fat or low desirability woman gets approached buy a guy of not-so-low desirability. That would seem like a good deal for her, right? And yet if she is angry at men, even at one specific man, or feeling insecure about her status, by rejecting this man, she believes she affirms that her status is higher than his.

Men are not terribly picky about what kind of woman they have a causal relationship or a one night stand with- particularly if their friends don’t know. They are going to be a lot more picky about what kind of woman they will publicly announce a relationship with, introduce to their friends, introduce to their family, or marry. A man ranks himself by the best woman he can get. Logically, a woman would rank herself by the best man she could get, but women are not logical. Some women will rank themselves by the best man they can reject.

R. Don Steele talks about this quite a bit in his books, how careful a man has to be not to let his prospect think she has achieved attracting a strong level of interest. If a woman wants psychological affirmation of her value as a woman, she doesn’t have to go out on a date with a man, she just has to get asked out on a date by a man. And, once he has asked her out, she can bump it up a notch in her mind by saying no!

Taking this apart carefully, if an 8 guy (however exactly women rank this, which is a lot more complicated than the way men do it) has asked her out she logically matches him in status somehow. However, if she rejects him, is she then better? I don’t think so; it only means she is hoping to get a better bid. If you offer a guy $5000 for his car or boat, and he declines to accept, it is not them worth $5500 until someone actually offers him that price.

Simply put, if a woman is objectively of low desirability, this is no guarantee she will accept interest from a man of similarly low desirability, essentially for reasons of ego.

The first thing a man must do in reference to women is cultivate an attitude of relaxed indifference. Partly because this is appealing to women; but primarily because you don’t really know what is going on in a woman’s mind and any strong reaction to her behavior, negative or positive, is unhelpful. Reacting to bad behavior only provides a reward for it, and good behavior may well be very fleeting. Never approach a woman with the idea her desirability status will make her more receptive to you.

Roissy makes another observation which complicates things, although I can’t find the actual post. He says fat women, being desperate, are more likely to throw themselves at alphas, who are sometimes willing to go for a no-effort lay. He says they then either 1) develop the idea they can somehow get an alpha to commit to a long-term relationship, or 2) commit themselves to a life of one-night stands with alphas, and make themselves unavailable to men of lower status. I have not actually observed this myself, but it’s plausible. As I have said the world is much kinder to omega women than it is to omega men- no woman needs a man, and there are entire industries that provide employment to omega women- healthcare and education most prominently, and various others. If a fat woman is poor and single, plenty of people will feel sorry for her; she doesn’t need a nice lifestyle for social respect or to attract men, so she can get by on a low wage. If she has a child, possibly resulting from a one night stand with an alpha, she gets help in various forms without social stigma. If a man is fat and poor, he will be regarded by society as a disgusting loser and shunned.

I have a bit of a fat fetish but I have never bagged a fat chick.

So if you can’t count on fat chicks as a source of sex when you are hard up where are you going to get it? Where ever you can, brother, where ever you can.